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Five fuel source for the production of electricity

Five fuel source for the production of electricity dlerK
The pie chart gives information about how much electricity was produced by using 5 types of fuel source in Australia and France in two years. Overall, the total amount of electricity produced by these two countries saw a significant rise in 20 year's time. Although first Australia the main source was coal in the given two years, in France three dominant fuels in 1980 was replaced by nuclear power in 2000. In Australia, the amount of energy from coal equaled to 50 units in 1980 before increasing dramatically to 130 units in 2000. However, there was a sharp fall in the use of oil and natural gas, while the figure for hydro power saw a significant growth of 16 units in 2000. On the other hand, in France the proportion of coal kept the same level at 25 units, whereas the index for nuclear power went up enormously to 126 in 2000. Moreover, the proportion of hydro power used to produce electrical energy fell sharply accounting for only 2 units each in 2000, with oil having a growth of 5 units in the same year.
The pie chart gives information about how much electricity
was produced
by using 5 types of fuel source in Australia and France in two years.

Overall
, the total amount of electricity produced by these two countries
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
saw
a significant rise in 20
Incorrect singular possessive form after the number (20). Did you mean "years" or "years'"?
year's
time. Although
first
Australia the main source was coal in the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
two years, in France three dominant fuels in 1980
was replaced
by nuclear
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
power
in 2000.

In Australia, the amount of energy from coal equaled to 50
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
units
in 1980
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
increasing
dramatically
to 130
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
units
in 2000.
However
, there was a sharp fall in the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of oil and natural gas, while the figure for hydro
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
power
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
saw
a significant growth of 16
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
units
in 2000.

On the other hand
, in France the proportion of coal
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
kept
the same level at 25
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
units
, whereas the index for nuclear
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
power
went up
enormously
to 126 in 2000.

Moreover
, the proportion of hydro
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
power
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to produce electrical energy fell
sharply
accounting for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
2
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
units
each in 2000, with oil having a growth of 5
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
units
in the same year.
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IELTS academic Five fuel source for the production of electricity

Academic
  American English
5 paragraphs
185 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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