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Fish and meat consumption in Europe from 1997 to 2004

Fish and meat consumption in Europe from 1997 to 2004 2bDPA
The following graph describes the consumption of meat and fish in Europe during the time period of 1979 to 2004. The y axis represents the grams of food a person consumes per week. On the other hand the x axis represents the years in intervals of 5 years from 1979 to 2004. The graph shows us 4 different lines, each line represents a different kind of meat, those being: Chicken, beef, lamb and fish. While talking about the chicken consumption we can see that it has increased during the years, going from 150 grams per week to 250 grams per week. On the other side we can see that the meat consumption has been decreasing in these past years, the consumption has decreased a good amount of 100 grams since 1997, going from a consumption of 200 grams to 100 grams. Also the lamb consumption has been on the low with the same decrease of 100 grams as te meat consumption, going from 150 grams per week to 50 grams per week Finally the fish consumption has remained the same through the years.
The following graph
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describes
the
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consumption
of
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meat
and fish in Europe during the time period of 1979 to 2004.

The
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y axis
represents the
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grams
of food a person consumes per week.

On the other hand
the
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
x axis
represents the years in intervals of 5 years from 1979 to 2004.

The graph
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shows
us 4
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different
lines, each line represents a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
kind of
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meat
, those being: Chicken, beef, lamb and fish.

While talking about the chicken
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consumption
we can
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see
that it has increased during the years, going from 150
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grams
per week to 250
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grams
per week.

On the other side we can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
meat
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
consumption
has been decreasing in these past years, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
consumption
has decreased a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
amount of 100
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grams
since 1997, going from a
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consumption
of 200
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grams
to 100 grams.

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Also
the lamb
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consumption
has been on the low with the same decrease of 100
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grams
as
Possible spelling mistake found.
te
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
meat
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
consumption
, going from 150
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grams
per week to 50
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
grams
per week

Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Finally
the fish
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
consumption
has remained the same through the years.

IELTS academic Fish and meat consumption in Europe from 1997 to 2004

Academic
  American English
8 paragraphs
183 words
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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