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favorite leisure activities of children in Canada

favorite leisure activities of children in Canada KlgOR
THE BAR chart illustrates information on the four activities between boys and girls in Canada. it can be clearly seen that almost all four activities boys do more than girls especially, shopping and sports activities are so high. In Canada, listening to music in both groups is similar, and it is under 20%. Only listening to music is too close to doing this activity with boys at girls. but one of the activities which are playing computer games has no big difference among boys and girls. it is about 3%, which means that 16% and 13%, respectively. but there is so highly difference at sports activities. At this point, girls are so weak and just approximately 10%. however, boys are doing sports activities more than 2 times higher than girls and it is 26%. furthermore, shopping ratios are also so crazy, because the shopping percentage of girls is 6%. Among these 4 activities, the peak level is shopping because the boys' ratio is almost 35% and it is 6 times more than girls' shopping.
THE BAR chart illustrates information on the four
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
between
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
boys
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
girls
in Canada.

This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
it
can be
clearly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
that almost all four
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
boys
do more than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
girls
especially
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
and sports
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
high.

In Canada, listening to music in both groups is similar, and it is under 20%.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Only
listening to music is too close to doing this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activity
with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
boys
at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
girls
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
but
one of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
which are playing computer games has no
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
difference among
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
boys
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
girls
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
it
is about 3%, which means that 16% and 13%,
respectively
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
but
there is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
highly
difference at sports
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
. At this point,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
girls
are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
weak and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
approximately 10%.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
however
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
boys
are doing sports
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
more than 2 times higher than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
girls
and it is 26%.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
furthermore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
ratios are
also
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
crazy,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
percentage of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
girls
is 6%. Among these 4
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
, the peak level is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
the boys' ratio is almost 35% and it is 6 times more than girls'
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
.
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IELTS academic favorite leisure activities of children in Canada

Academic
  American English
3 paragraphs
174 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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