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Favorite leisure activities for teenagers in the UK in 2009.

Favorite leisure activities for teenagers in the UK in 2009. pe67a
The given chart illustrates how many teenage people spending their free time on different activities in the UK in 2009. According to the chart, the most chosen free time activity by young people was listening to music, which accounted for 41% and gain the highest rank. Compter games ranked second, constituting 23%. That was followed by reading and playing sports, with 3% larger to the former than to the latters. Watching sports gained the least popularity of 10%. In general, people at the age of 13 to 19 had the biggest interest in listening to music, while spending time in front of the TV with sports cannot attract them as much as other pastimes.
The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
chart illustrates how
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many
teenage
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
spending their free time on
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
activities in the UK in 2009. According to the chart, the most chosen free time activity by young
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
was listening to music, which accounted for 41% and gain the highest rank.
Possible spelling mistake found.
Compter
games ranked second, constituting 23%. That
was followed
by reading and playing sports, with 3% larger to the former than to the
Possible spelling mistake found.
latters
. Watching sports gained the least popularity of 10%.
In general
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
at the age of 13 to 19 had the biggest interest in listening to music, while spending time in front of the TV with sports cannot attract them as much as other pastimes.
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IELTS academic Favorite leisure activities for teenagers in the UK in 2009.

Academic
  American English
1 paragraphs
114 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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