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Fast food preferences of teenagers in the USA

Fast food preferences of teenagers in the USA pLAEd
The pie chart illustrates some fast foods that are preferred by teenagers in the USA. According to the chart, American teenagers prefer hamburgers, pizza, and french fries. Among the three, hamburgers are the most popular fast food as they account the biggest proportion at 33% of the pie chart. Follow along with burgers, pizza is the second most favorite at 26% of teenagers preferences and french fries are the third. French fries represent 22 percent of the chart as 11 in 50 teenagers prefer them. Although tacos have such a low percentage of teenagers' preferences at 7% as well as fried chicken at 9%, they are still not the least popular. In fact, sushi is the least popular at only 3% of teenagers prefer it.
The pie
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chart
illustrates
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some
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fast
foods that
are preferred
by
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teenagers
in the USA. According to the
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chart
, American
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teenagers
prefer hamburgers, pizza, and french fries. Among the three, hamburgers are the most popular
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
food as they account the biggest proportion at 33% of the pie
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chart
. Follow along with burgers, pizza is the second most favorite at 26% of
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teenagers
preferences and french fries are the third. French fries represent 22 percent of the
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chart
as 11 in 50
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teenagers
prefer them. Although tacos have such a low percentage of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
' preferences at 7%
as well
as fried chicken at 9%, they are
still
not the least popular. In fact, sushi is the least popular at
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
3% of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teenagers
prefer it.
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IELTS academic Fast food preferences of teenagers in the USA

Academic
  American English
1 paragraphs
125 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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