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The graphs below give information about money spent on online purchases in the USA from 2010, and the percentage of products purchased online in one company in the USA from 2007 to 2013.

The graphs below give information about money spent on online purchases in the USA from 2010, and the percentage of products purchased online in one company in the USA from 2007 to 2013. JVp9k
The line graphs illustrate how much money which was spent on online purchases and the proportion of products purchased online in the company, in the USA over the periods from 2010 to 2015 and 2007 and 2013 respectively. Looking at the graphs, it is immediately obvious that the total money spent on online increased sharply over the period shown. Meanwhile the percentage of purchases made online grew slower than. In the initial year of first chart, the amount of money spent on online purchases started at 175 billion dollars. Over the period, the figure for total money saw a continuous upward trend and reached the highest level at 350 billion dollars in 2015. On the other hand, the proportion of total purchases made online in company in the USA saw a slight rose. In addition, in 2007, the rate of products accounted for approximately 30 percent. Between 2007 and 2009, this figure increased significantly by more than 10 percent. After that, from 2009 to 2012, the percentage saw a slight fluctuation and in 2013, the rate hit the highest point was 46 percent.
The line graphs illustrate how much
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money
which
was spent
on
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online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
purchases
and the proportion of products
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchased
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
in the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
, in the USA over the periods from 2010 to 2015 and 2007 and 2013
respectively
.

Looking at the graphs, it is immediately obvious that the total
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
spent on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
increased
sharply
over the period shown.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Meanwhile
the percentage of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
purchases
made
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
grew slower than.

In the initial year of
first
chart, the amount of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
spent on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
purchases
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
at 175 billion dollars. Over the period, the figure for total
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
saw
a continuous upward trend and reached the highest level at 350 billion dollars in 2015.

On the other hand
, the proportion of total
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
purchases
made
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
in the USA
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
saw
a slight rose.
In addition
, in 2007, the rate of products accounted for approximately 30 percent. Between 2007 and 2009, this figure increased
significantly
by more than 10 percent. After that, from 2009 to 2012, the percentage
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
saw
a slight fluctuation and in 2013, the rate hit the highest point was 46 percent.
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IELTS academic The graphs below give information about money spent on online purchases in the USA from 2010, and the percentage of products purchased online in one company in the USA from 2007 to 2013.

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
183 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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