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explain the changes of an airport present site plan and the renovation plan

explain the changes of an airport present site plan and the renovation plan 8G5gx
The two plans illustrate the present and the projected changes of an airport site plan. At first sight, it can clearly be seen that the total area of the renovation plan on the right is approximately twice as much the existing plan, as a new set of gates has been added to it. Also, the arrangement of the gates on the northernmost side is significantly different, comparing to the old scheme. These alterations include the development of eight existing gates, circling around a rectangle shape to ten further gates surrounding a y-shaped wing. At a second glance on both plan, the number of entrances and exits on the southern side has also doubled, however, their locations are supposed to remain unchanged. Additionally, the position of indoor areas such as the check-In and the cafe are going to be relocated to the westside of the departion lobby; Furthermore, a new range of subsidiary functions consisting a second cafe, an ATM and a station for rental cars are going to be added to the arrival section. Finally, the walk away route between the gates is going to be replaced by a sky train line which seems to help making a much easier transportation system in the renovated building.
The two
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
plans
illustrate the present and the projected
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
of an airport site plan.

At
first
sight, it can
clearly
be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
that the total area of the renovation
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
plan
on the right is approximately twice as much the existing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
plan
, as a new set of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gates
has been
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
added
to it.

Also
, the arrangement of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gates
on the northernmost side is
significantly
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
, comparing to the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
scheme.

These alterations include the development of eight existing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gates
, circling around a rectangle shape to ten
further
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gates
surrounding a y-shaped wing.

At a second glance on both
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
plan
, the number of entrances and exits on the southern side has
also
doubled,
however
, their locations
are supposed
to remain unchanged.
Additionally
, the position of indoor areas such as the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
check
-In and the
'cafe' is an imported foreign expression, which originally has a diacritic. Consider using "café"
cafe
are going to
be relocated
to
The phrase 'the westside of' is not correct. Use a noun, not an adjective, between 'the' and 'of'.
the westside of
the
Possible spelling mistake found.
departion
lobby;
Furthermore
, a new range of subsidiary functions consisting a second
'cafe' is an imported foreign expression, which originally has a diacritic. Consider using "café"
cafe
, an ATM and a station for rental cars are going to be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
added
to the arrival section.
Finally
, the walk away route between the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gates
is going to
be replaced
by a sky train line which seems to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
The verb 'help' is used with an infinitive: "to make" or "make".
making
a much easier transportation system in the renovated building.
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IELTS academic explain the changes of an airport present site plan and the renovation plan

Academic
  American English
5 paragraphs
206 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
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