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Do you agree or disagree? It’s better to focus urban development rather than conserving the nature.

It’s better to focus urban development rather than conserving the nature. pKqxm
Nowadays, there are many economic industries and factories which expand a lot of branches in many cities. Due to the fact that population is extremely growing, this affects the over consumption of food and natural resources. From my opinion, it can be seen that protecting the environment seem to be a good solution to this problem. First of all, natural conservation can reduce disaster. Evaluation of natural resources creates a natural barrier which effectively protects the urban living zone from disaster. For example, planting compensating the destroyed forest can prevent the vital accident that cause from flood or mudslide. Next, It also develops the urban living areas. As the increase of natural resources, the city’s development and construction are supported by natural resources such as woods, stones, ores, minerals and the others. To summarize, it can be perceived that conserving the nature is not only protecting the habitat from disaster but also developing the city to be more civilize than before.
Nowadays, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
economic industries and factories which expand
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
branches in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
cities. Due to the fact that population is
extremely
growing, this affects the over consumption of food and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
natural
resources. From my opinion, it can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
that protecting the environment seem to be a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
solution to this problem.
This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
natural
conservation can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
disaster. Evaluation of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
natural
resources creates a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
natural
barrier which
effectively
protects the urban living zone from disaster.
For example
, planting compensating the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
destroyed
forest can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevent
the vital accident that cause from flood or mudslide.
Next
, It
also
develops the urban living areas. As the increase of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
natural
resources, the city’s development and construction
are supported
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
natural
resources such as woods, stones, ores, minerals and the others.
To summarize
, it can
be perceived
that conserving the nature is not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
protecting the habitat from disaster
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
developing the city to be more civilize than
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
.

IELTS academic It’s better to focus urban development rather than conserving the nature.

Academic
  American English
1 paragraphs
161 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
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