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expenditure of four car companies on advertising in UK in the year 2002

expenditure of four car companies on advertising in UK in the year 2002 p1pJw
The Table highlights how much dollars was expanded of car companies on marketing in the UK in 2002 in millions of dollars overall, In the year 2002 the amount of money expanded on radio marketing was identical in the given car companies which was 15 million of dollars there were 4 car companies the highest money expand on TV marketing in UK in 2002 In the case of Renault, it was highest money expand on TV advertising which was 59 million dollars the amount of money expand on press advertisement was the 2nd highest figure in renault with reference to rover it was expand on TV program advertising same trend at Renault.
The Table highlights how much
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dollars
was expanded
of car
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
on marketing in the UK in 2002 in millions of
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dollars
overall
, In the year 2002 the amount of
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money
expanded on radio marketing was identical in the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
car
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
which was 15 million of
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dollars
there were 4 car
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companies
the highest
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money
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
expand
on TV marketing in UK in 2002 In the case of Renault, it was
A determiner is probably missing here: "the highest".
highest
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money
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
expand
on TV advertising which was 59 million
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
dollars
the amount of
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money
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
expand
on press advertisement was the 2nd highest figure in
Possible spelling mistake found.
renault
with reference to rover it was
Consider using a past participle here: "expanded".
expand
on TV program advertising same trend at Renault.
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IELTS academic expenditure of four car companies on advertising in UK in the year 2002

Academic
  American English
1 paragraphs
112 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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