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Ex. 7 p.178: Northcom's Revenue

Ex. 7 p.178: Northcom's Revenue dldNK
Northcom company is an organization that provide electronic products, they designed a chart based on the ciphers of the products they sold in 2000 and 2015, but they also included a visualization of their future sales for 2030. Furthermore, the ciphers shown the popularity of the products had in the past years or it will has in the future. In the 2000, telephone has the biggest impact than online film/music and Home broadband, in addition, the first of these products has an enormous revenues which overcame 200 million of euros. Although, in 2015 the amount of sells barely reached 200 millions of euros, but the impact of home broadband increased considerably than online film/music. The projections that Northcom purpose for 2030 has not variation between the revenue of telephones and online film/music, otherwise, both products surpass 100 millions of sells, meanwhile home broadband will reach more of 200 millions. The ciphers that Northcom offered has an optimistic control and development which help the company to know the future market.
Possible spelling mistake found.
Northcom
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
is an organization that provide electronic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
, they designed a chart based on the ciphers of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
they sold in 2000 and 2015,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
they
also
included a visualization of their future sales for 2030.
Furthermore
, the ciphers shown the popularity of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
had in the past years or it will
The verb 'will' requires the base form of the verb: "have"
has
in the future.

In the 2000, telephone has the biggest impact than online film/music and Home broadband,
in addition
, the
first
of these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
has an enormous
Don't use indefinite articles with plural words. Did you mean "revenue"?
revenues
which overcame 200
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
million
of euros. Although, in 2015 the amount of sells
barely
reached 200
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
millions
of euros,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
the impact of home broadband increased
Use "(considerably)" to make a comparison with this adjective.
considerably
than online film/music.

The projections that
Possible spelling mistake found.
Northcom
purpose for 2030 has not variation between the revenue of telephones and online film/music,
otherwise
, both
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
surpass 100
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
millions
of sells, meanwhile home broadband will reach more of 200
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
millions
. The ciphers that
Possible spelling mistake found.
Northcom
offered has an optimistic control and development which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
to know the future market.
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IELTS academic Ex. 7 p.178: Northcom's Revenue

Academic
  American English
3 paragraphs
169 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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