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Energy used and greenhouse gas emissions

Energy used and greenhouse gas emissions 265lX
The charts describe the distribution of energy and the release of green house in account of power use, in medium Australian homes. The unit is measured in percentage. Overall, it is seen that energy used by heating has the highest proportion while release gas in cooling experience a minimum volume. To start with, majority of the power used is assigned to heating. Thirty percent is allocated to water heating, and other appliances inherited three tenth of the ratio. The lowest of them all is the cooling. Whereas, the same item in the greenhouse discharge is one percent above what it was when used. Furthermore, the most energy release equipment is water heating with approximately thirty-two percent, compared to power supply used up. Other appliances poured out electrical discharge of twenty-eight percent. The ratio of energy released in all is more than what was utilized.
The charts
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
describe
the distribution of
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energy
and the release of green
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house
in account of power
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
, in medium Australian homes. The unit
is measured
in percentage.

Overall
, it is
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seen
that
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energy
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
by
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heating
has the highest proportion while release gas in cooling experience a minimum volume.

To
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start
with,
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majority of
the power
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used
is assigned
to
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heating
. Thirty
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percent
is allocated
to water
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heating
, and other appliances inherited three tenth of the ratio. The lowest of them all is the cooling. Whereas, the same item in the greenhouse discharge is one
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percent
above what it was when
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
.

Furthermore
, the most
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energy
release equipment is water
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heating
with approximately thirty-two
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percent
, compared to power supply
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
up. Other appliances poured out electrical discharge of twenty-eight
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percent
. The ratio of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
energy
released in all is more than what
was utilized
.

IELTS academic Energy used and greenhouse gas emissions

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
144 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
4.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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