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Energy in France between 1995 and 2006

Energy in France between 1995 and 2006 VQQ0K
The two pie charts demonstrate the percentages of various sources of energy fulfilling France’s demand for the years 1995 and 2005. Overall, in comparison, the dependency of France on Petroleum as a source of energy was reduced, whereas the contribution of the other sources percentagewise was increased. By observation, coal remained as the largest contributor to the energy requirements of the country. At the beginning of the period, coal, gas and petroleum sources collectively dominated the energy profile of France, with each of the sources satisfying nearly 30% of the demand, while the remaining energy balance was produced through Nuclear and other sources that attributed to around 10%. However, at the end of the period, the margin of Petroleum source reduced significantly in terms of percentage by roughly 10%. Meanwhile, the other producers of energy in France’s horizon seemingly thrived, with prominent rises in the percentages of Nuclear and Other sources that nearly doubled. Coal and gas increased by 1% individually.
The two pie charts demonstrate the percentages of various
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sources
of
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energy
fulfilling France’s demand for the years 1995 and 2005.

Overall
,
in comparison
, the dependency of France on Petroleum as a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
source
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
energy
was
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduced
, whereas the contribution of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sources
Possible spelling mistake found.
percentagewise
was increased
. By observation, coal remained as the largest contributor to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
energy
requirements of the country.

At the beginning of the period, coal, gas and petroleum
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sources
collectively
dominated the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
energy
profile of France, with each of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sources
satisfying
nearly
30% of the demand, while the remaining
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
energy
balance
was produced
through Nuclear and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sources
that attributed to around 10%.

However
, at the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
of the period, the margin of Petroleum
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
source
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduced
significantly
in terms of percentage by roughly 10%. Meanwhile, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
producers of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
energy
in France’s horizon
seemingly
thrived, with prominent rises in the percentages of Nuclear and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sources
that
nearly
doubled. Coal and gas increased by 1%
individually
.
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IELTS academic Energy in France between 1995 and 2006

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
161 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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