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eating fast food in usa between 2003 and 2013

eating fast food in usa between 2003 and 2013 XGAgA
The bar chart shows that a habit about fast food. It compares how often residents of USA eating at fast food restaurants between 2003 and 2013. It can be clearly seen that the lowest rate of eating fast food is every day for each year. For this case, its peak in 2003 and is about five percent. Moreover, eating fast food once a week is the peak of the year 2003 by over 30 percent. 2006 has the most rate of eating it for several times a week and once a week by 20 percent and about 365 percent respectively. Although, these are the peaks value of those frequencies. However, once or twice a month fluctuates over years it has rate 30 percent in 2003, then it has the rate 25 percent in 2006, finally it has rate about 32 percent in 2013. And then, frequency of a few times a year increases between 2003 and 2006 after it stabilizes between to 2013 at a rate of 15 percent. Moreover, never is about 5 percent in three years. To conclude, eating fast food in USA has different frequency in different years. Every day and never decrease over years, on contrary several times a week, once a week and once or twice a month fluctuate. Finally, never decreases over years.
The bar chart
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
that a habit about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fast
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
. It compares how
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
residents of USA
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
eating
at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fast
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
restaurants between 2003 and 2013.

It can be
clearly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
that the lowest
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rate
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
eating
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fast
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
is every day for each
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
. For this case, its peak in 2003 and is about five
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percent
.
Moreover
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
eating
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fast
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
once
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
week
is the peak of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
2003 by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
over
30
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percent
. 2006 has the most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rate
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
eating
it for several times a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
week
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
once
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
week
by 20
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percent
and about 365
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percent
respectively
.
“Although” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
Although
, these are the peaks value of those frequencies.

However
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
once
or twice a month fluctuates
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
over
years it has
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rate
30
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percent
in 2003, then it has the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rate
25
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percent
in 2006,
finally
it has
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rate
about 32
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percent
in 2013. And then, frequency of a few times a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
increases between 2003 and 2006 after it stabilizes between to 2013 at a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rate
of 15
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percent
.
Moreover
,
The adverb 'never' usually goes after the verb 'is'.
never is
about 5
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percent
in three years.

To conclude
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
eating
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fast
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
A determiner is probably missing here: "in the USA".
in USA
has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
frequency in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
years. Every day and never decrease
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
over
years, on contrary several times a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
week
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
once
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
week
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
once
or twice a month fluctuate.
Finally
, never decreases
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
over
years.
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IELTS academic eating fast food in usa between 2003 and 2013

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
219 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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