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The given chart provides information about residents who bought coffee and tea in five different Australian cities, which have been surveyed in last four weeks.

The given chart provides information about residents who bought coffee and tea in five different Australian cities, which have been surveyed in last four weeks. 0EYb3
In today's world, since the invention of the internet, people's lives have been more convenient and easier than in the past. In addition, online news is one of the inventions that very so popular in nowadays and become instead of the traditional newspaper. In this essay, I will discuss this statement in the following. Firstly, reading on a screen is not suitable for everyone, for example, older people who have some problems with their eyes. On top of that, people who lack of knowledge about the internet or who live in undeveloped cities or even cities that can not access in the online world. Therefore, they can not up-to-date information that is the reason why they need newspapers. However, it can be argued that online news brings a lot of benefits to us. It keeps us up with the times rapidly without any fees, and it also helps the world that is suffering from a problem of garbage overflowing and can lead to global warming. The evidence is shown on reports, there is the amount of newspaper is discarded on pavements every day. On top of that, we have to cut down a tree for a piece of paper that is not worthwhile and provides only local news while online news offers global situations. In conclusion, weighing up both sides of arguments. I personally believe that online news has benefits far outweigh the drawbacks, more advantages than the newspaper and will become increasingly common while newspaper has a tendency to disappear in the last few years.
In
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
's world, since the invention of the internet,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
's
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
have been more convenient and easier than in the past.
In addition
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
is one of the inventions that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
popular
nowadays is used without 'in'. Use simply: "nowadays".
in nowadays
and become
instead
of the traditional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
newspaper
.
Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
In
this essay, I will discuss this statement in the following.

Firstly
, reading on a screen is not suitable for everyone,
for example
, older
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
problems with their eyes.
On top of that
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who lack of knowledge about the internet or who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in undeveloped cities or even cities that can not access in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
world.
Therefore
, they
It seems that a verb or adverb has been misspelled or is missing here.
can not up-to-date
information
that is
the reason why they need newspapers.

However
, it can
be argued
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
brings
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
benefits to us. It
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keeps
us up with the times
rapidly
without any fees, and it
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
the world
that is
suffering from a problem of garbage overflowing and can lead to global warming. The evidence
is shown
on reports, there is the amount of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
newspaper
is discarded
on pavements every day.
On top of that
, we
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
cut
down a tree for a piece of paper
that is
not worthwhile and provides
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
while
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
offers global situations.

In conclusion
, weighing up both sides of arguments. I
personally
believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
has benefits far outweigh the drawbacks, more advantages than the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
newspaper
and will become
increasingly
common while
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
newspaper
has a tendency to disappear in the last few years.
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IELTS academic The given chart provides information about residents who bought coffee and tea in five different Australian cities, which have been surveyed in last four weeks.

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
256 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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