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different method of ceneda to watching TV

different method of ceneda to watching TV wakBE
A glance at the pie charts provided reveals comparison of young adults in Canada who use to watch television programs with different mean, during the period of 2009 and 2019. Overall, it is clear that Canadian people move away to old technology to new technology of watching TV. In 2009highest number of people using convention TV and in 2019 it was significantly changed and move at the only 4%. Another general trend is younger people watching television in smaller device tablet which was only 5% in 2009 and it is increased highly at 26% in 2009. young people using laptop to watching TV at 20% but the graph of watching TV using laptop follow down trend and just at 12% in 2009. A transition of flat screens with the follow upward trend to 8% in 2009 to 26% in 2019. desktop computer saw fall in usage. And trend of uses mobile phones watching TV increincreased almost quarter part of graph at 26%.
A glance at the pie charts provided reveals comparison of young adults in Canada who
Make sure that 'use to' is correct. For habitual actions in the past or to mean 'accustomed to', use "used to".
use to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
television programs with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
mean, during the period of 2009 and 2019.

Overall
, it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
that Canadian
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
move
away to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
technology to new technology of watching TV.

In 2009highest number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
using convention TV and in 2019 it was
significantly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
move
at the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
4%. Another general
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trend
is younger
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
watching television in smaller device tablet which was
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
5% in 2009 and it
is increased
highly
at 26% in 2009.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
using laptop to watching TV at 20%
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
the graph of watching TV using laptop follow down
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trend
and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
at 12% in 2009.

A transition of flat screens with the follow upward
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trend
to 8% in 2009 to 26% in 2019.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
desktop
computer
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
saw
fall in usage. And
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trend
of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
uses
mobile phones watching TV
Possible spelling mistake found.
increincreased
almost quarter part of graph at 26%.
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IELTS academic different method of ceneda to watching TV

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
162 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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  • Meet the criteria
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