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Diagramic labda process of canned fruits

Diagramic labda process of canned fruits 2RL7o
The diagram illustrates the process involved in producing pears as canned fruits from hand picking up to when they are stored. In general, the pears processing has fourteen steps. It starts from handpicking of the fruits and ends when they are dispatched for consumption. Firstly, the canning process initiated by handpicking of the fruits, transported to washing area after which quality checking is performed. There after, they are stored in cold place, weighing and grading followed by peeling off and slicing into pieces. Following that, canning takes place, then sealing tha cann, cooking to sterilize, neat labeling is done at this stage before storing and dispatching ready for consumerism.
The diagram illustrates the process involved in producing pears as canned fruits from
hand picking
up to when they
are stored
.

In general
, the pears processing has fourteen steps. It
starts
from handpicking of the fruits and ends when they
are dispatched
for consumption.

Firstly
, the canning process initiated by handpicking of the fruits, transported to washing area after which quality checking
is performed
.
There after
, they
are stored
in
cold
place, weighing and grading followed by peeling off and slicing into pieces.

Following that, canning takes place, then sealing
tha
cann
, cooking to sterilize, neat labeling
is done
at this stage
before
storing and dispatching ready for consumerism.
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IELTS academic Diagramic labda process of canned fruits

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
109 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
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    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
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    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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