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diagram description on habitants in Yemen.

diagram description on habitants in Yemen. DNDY7
The diagrams show statistic information regarding the ages of the habitants of Yemen and Italy in 2000 and also a estimative for 2050. We can see that in 2000 the majority of people in Yemen was between O and 14 years old, whith 50. 1%, whereas in Italy most of the population was between 15-59 years old (61. 6%), in the same year. On the other hand, just 3. 6% of people in the former contry was 60 years old or more in 2000, while in the latter country this figure is represented with 24. 1%. The projections for 2050 show that the nimber of people with 15-59 years and 60 years or more will increase in Yemen, reaching 57. 3% and 5. 7% respectively. In contrast, In Italy, the population with 15-59 years will decrease to 46. 2%, while people with 60 years or more will groww to 42. 3% Overall, it s possible to see that there is an upward trend on the rates of people with 60 years or more in both countries. MacBook Air DO DB REV PA% 3D 4. 7. 8. 2. 5. R P. E. D
The diagrams
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
statistic information regarding the ages of the habitants of Yemen and Italy in 2000 and
also
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a
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estimative
for 2050. We can
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see
that in 2000 the majority of
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people
in Yemen was between O and 14 years
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old
,
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whith
50. 1%, whereas in Italy most of the population was between 15-59 years
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old
(61. 6%), in the same
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year
.
On the other hand
,
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just
3. 6% of
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people
in the former
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contry
was 60 years
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old
or more in 2000, while in the latter country this figure
is represented
with 24. 1%. The projections for 2050
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show
that the
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nimber
of
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people
with 15-59 years and 60 years or more will increase in Yemen, reaching 57. 3% and 5. 7%
respectively
.
In contrast
, In Italy, the population with 15-59 years will decrease to 46. 2%, while
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
with 60 years or more will
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groww
to 42. 3%
Overall
,
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it s
possible to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
that there is an upward trend on the rates of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
with 60 years or more in both countries. MacBook Air DO DB REV
Possible spelling mistake found.
PA%
3D 4. 7. 8. 2. 5. R P. E.
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
D
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IELTS academic diagram description on habitants in Yemen.

Academic
  American English
1 paragraphs
191 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
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    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
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    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
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    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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