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developments that the center of a small town namely Islip

developments that the center of a small town namely Islip 3x8Rd
The maps show the developments that the center of a small town namely islip during a five years, from 2010 to 2015. Overall, a closer look at the maps highlight the fact that the biggest change was the disappearance of the the main road and the countryside. Meanwhile, the park and housing remained untouched. Looking at the maps in the more detail, a lot of modifications can be observed. Firstly, the most striking alteration is that the dual carriageway was constructed and it supround the downtown of map. Additionally, in the dual carriageway, the pedestrians only road which bisect the center of town was set up. In the north of center, the countryside and shops were demolished and replaced by bus station, shopping centre, car park and new housing while the housing and park became smaller in the bottom of center. Out of dual carriageway, the school was erected and old housing remained unchanged during 5 years.
The
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maps
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show
the developments that the center of a
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small
town
namely
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islip
during a five years, from 2010 to 2015.

Overall
, a closer look at the
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maps
highlight the fact that the biggest
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change
was the disappearance of
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the the
main road and the countryside. Meanwhile, the park and housing remained untouched.

Looking at the
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maps
in the more detail,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
modifications can
be observed
.
Firstly
, the most striking alteration is that the dual carriageway
was constructed
and it
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supround
the downtown of
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map
.
Additionally
, in the dual carriageway, the pedestrians
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
road which bisect the center of town
was set
up.

In the north of center, the countryside and shops
were demolished
and replaced by bus station, shopping
Possible spelling mistake. 'centre' is British English.
centre
, car park and new housing while the housing and park became smaller in the bottom of center. Out of dual carriageway, the school
was erected
and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
housing remained unchanged during 5 years.
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IELTS academic developments that the center of a small town namely Islip

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
157 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
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    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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