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demonstrates the literacy rate of people by gender in different zone in 2011

demonstrates the literacy rate of people by gender in different zone in 2011 Nwb9y
The bar chart demonstrates the literacy rate of people by gender in different zone in 2011. The vertical shoes the percentage of literacy rate and the horizontal shows that region. The purple is for female and the green one for male. The number of male and female in two areas are the same and in other groups number of women are lower than the men. In central Asia and central / eastern Europe both male and female columns were near the 100% but central Asia is a little more. Additionally, the lowest percentage can be found in Sub-Saharan Africa that for female was near the 60% and male between 60% and 80%. Furthermore, the most differences literacy rate between men and women was in south and west Asia that it is more than 20% also the most differences percentage of literacy rate for male was about 30% and female 40%. To sum up, the bar chart presents the differences literacy rate in different region also the percentage of male and female are not the same in some areas.
The bar chart demonstrates the
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literacy
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rate
of
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people
by gender in
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different
zone in 2011. The vertical shoes the
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percentage
of
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literacy
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rate
and the horizontal
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shows
that region.
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The
purple is for
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female
and the green one for male.

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The
number of male and
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female
in two areas are the same and in other groups number of women are lower than the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
men
. In
If the term is a proper noun, use initial capitals.
central Asia
and central /
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eastern Europe
both male and
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female
columns were near the 100%
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but
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central Asia
is a
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little
more.
Additionally
, the lowest
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percentage
can
be found
in Sub-Saharan Africa that for
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female
was near the 60% and male between 60% and 80%.
Furthermore
, the most differences
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literacy
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rate
between
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
men
and women was in south and west Asia that it is more than 20%
also
the most differences
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percentage
of
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literacy
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rate
for male was about 30% and
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female
40%.

To sum up, the bar chart presents the
Apostrophe might be missing. Did you mean "differences'" or "difference's"?
differences
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literacy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rate
in
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different
region
also
the
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percentage
of male and
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female
are not the same in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
areas.
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IELTS academic demonstrates the literacy rate of people by gender in different zone in 2011

Academic
  American English
3 paragraphs
178 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
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    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
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    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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