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Demand of electricity and consumption in England

Demand of electricity and consumption in England NM83q
The provided charts represent the changes in typical daily demand for electricity in winter and summer as well as compares the consumption of electricity for various purposes in England. As an overview, it is noticeable that the demand for electricity in daily routine while winter is always higher than summar. The large quantity of electricity units uses for heating rooms and water the given period of time. Looking into the details of line graph the typical every day demand for electricity during the winter is higher in initial period of time which was registered at 30, 000 units however the command of electricity increased with time till end it calculated at 50, 000 whereas the order of electricity during the summer always common it recorded at close to 20, 000 in commence and almost remained same in 24. Turning to the detail of pie chart, the consumption of electricity for heating rooms and water is higher than other three different objectives which was more than half (52. 5%). Oven, kettles and washing machine are ranked second with 17. 5% utilised the power. other two entertainment equipments and kitchen machines are consumed similar electricity with 15. 0% respectively.
The provided charts represent the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
in typical daily demand for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
electricity
in winter and summer
as well
as compares the consumption of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
electricity
for various purposes in England. As an overview, it is noticeable that the demand for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
electricity
in daily routine while winter is always higher than
Possible spelling mistake found.
summar
. The large quantity of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
electricity
units
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
uses
for heating rooms and water the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
period of time. Looking into the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
details
of line graph the typical every day demand for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
electricity
during the winter is higher in initial period of time which
was registered
at 30, 000 units
however
the command of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
electricity
increased with time till
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
it calculated at 50, 000 whereas the order of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
electricity
during the summer always common it recorded at close to 20, 000 in commence and almost remained same in 24. Turning to the detail of pie chart, the consumption of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
electricity
for heating rooms and water is higher than other three
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
objectives which was more than half (52. 5%). Oven, kettles and washing machine
are ranked
second with 17. 5%
Possible spelling mistake. 'utilised' is British English.
utilised
the power.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
other
two entertainment equipments and kitchen machines
are consumed
similar
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
electricity
with 15. 0%
respectively
.
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IELTS academic Demand of electricity and consumption in England

Academic
  American English
1 paragraphs
197 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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