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Demand for electricity in England during the Typical Days

Demand for electricity in England during the Typical Days rLBrL
The graph illustrates the requirement for electricity during the normal days of winter and summer in Britain. The Usage of electricity in a moderate British home can be seen in the pie chart. Overall, there is a significant difference in the demand for electricity for the given seasons. In the cold weather, English people use more electricity compared to hot weather. Because chilly climate requires heating, heating rooms and water were at the top of the list, in the consumption of the electricity, with the value of 52. 5%. It was followed by ovens, kettles, and washing machines by utilizing 17. 5%. The noticeable thing is that lighting, TV, radio, vacuum cleaners, food mixers, and electric tools used the same amount of electricity (15%). In summer, the day starts with almost 18K units and drops till 9 hours. After that, it has a steady increase till the mid of the day and reaches to the peak point (just above the 20 thousand). Even though it had a dramatic fall in the next hour, it reaches almost to the top point again. In Winter, the graph starts with an upward trend contradicting with the hot season. There is fluctuation in the utilization till the middle of the day, with the top value of 40, 000 till the time. It increases continuously until reaches the apex value of 46000 approximately. After achieving the summit, it fells down until the next day starts
The graph illustrates the requirement for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
electricity
during the normal days of winter and summer in Britain. The Usage of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
electricity
in a moderate British home can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
in the pie chart.

Overall
, there is a significant difference in the demand for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
electricity
for the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
seasons. In the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
cold
weather, English
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
electricity
compared to hot weather.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
chilly climate requires heating, heating rooms and water were at the top of the list, in the consumption of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
electricity
, with the value of 52. 5%. It
was followed
by ovens, kettles, and washing machines by utilizing 17. 5%. The noticeable thing is that lighting, TV, radio, vacuum cleaners, food mixers, and electric tools
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
the same amount of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
electricity
(15%).

In summer, the day
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
starts
with almost 18K units and drops till 9 hours. After that, it has a steady increase till the mid of the day and reaches to the peak point (
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
above the 20 thousand).
Even though
it had a dramatic fall in the
next
hour, it reaches almost to the top point again.

In Winter, the graph
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
starts
with an upward trend contradicting with the hot season. There is fluctuation in the utilization till the middle of the day, with the top value of 40, 000 till the time. It increases
continuously
until reaches the apex value of 46000 approximately. After achieving the summit, it fells down until the
next
day
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
starts

IELTS academic Demand for electricity in England during the Typical Days

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
239 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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