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Data on time spent by UK unemployed people

Data on time spent by UK unemployed people D63Ba
The table depicts the data of time spent by the UK's unemployed people over the last year. The information shows how men and women have spent their morning and afternoon in various activities like Housework, Shopping, Job Hunting, etc. Over the last year, 22% of men have spent most of their morning hours finding a job, whereas 49% of women employed their morning time in doing their housework. During the afternoon hours, 14% of men were watching TV, while 21% of women spent again doing their housework. These activities witnessed the highest time spent during these hours. The least time that men have spent was drinking in the morning hours and staying in bed during afternoon hours, which accounted for 2% and 1% respectively. In contrast to men, women have spent only 1% playing sport and drinking in the morning. During the afternoon, women have not spent any time playing sport and staying in bed. For other activities like shopping, visiting friends, visiting town, women have spent more hours than men in the early morning. In the afternoon, men have spent more hours gardening, decorating, walking, playing the sport, etc. , than women during this time.
The table depicts the data of
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time
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spent
by the UK's unemployed
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
over the last year. The information
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shows
how
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men
and
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women
have
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spent
their
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morning
and afternoon in various activities like Housework, Shopping, Job Hunting, etc.

Over the last year, 22% of
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men
have
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spent
most of their
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morning
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hours
finding a job, whereas 49% of
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women
employed their
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morning
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time
in doing their housework. During the afternoon
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hours
, 14% of
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men
were watching TV, while 21% of
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women
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spent
again doing their housework. These activities witnessed the highest
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time
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spent
during these
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hours
. The least
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time
that
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men
have
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spent
was drinking in the
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morning
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hours
and staying in bed during afternoon
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hours
, which accounted for 2% and 1%
respectively
.

In contrast
to
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men
,
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women
have
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spent
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only
1% playing sport and drinking in the
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morning
. During the afternoon,
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women
have not
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spent
any
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time
playing sport and staying in bed.

For other activities like shopping, visiting friends, visiting town,
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women
have
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spent
more
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hours
than
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men
in the early
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morning
. In the afternoon,
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men
have
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spent
more
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hours
gardening, decorating, walking, playing the sport, etc.
Put a space after the comma, but not before the comma
,
than
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women
during this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
.
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IELTS academic Data on time spent by UK unemployed people

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
196 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
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    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
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    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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