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Contribution of selected sectors to the UK economy in the twentieth century

Contribution of selected sectors to the UK economy in the twentieth century PgkkJ
The graph shows information about contribute of selected sector to the economy in the twentieth century of UK Overall, we can be seen at this graph agriculture is more big others in 1900 but it more less in 2000 We can see this graph agriculture more big manufacturing, business and financial. It was 48 percent in 1900. The more less their among it business and financial. Manufacturing was 45 percent in 1900 but their percent change in 1975 agriculture was 10 percent, business and financial 23 percent in 1975. The more large their among is manufacturing, it was 30 percent in 1975 This graph shows at us. Agriculture was more large 1950. It was 50 percent business and financial grow but more slowly. It was 10 percent in 1950. Manufacturing is big from business and financial. It was 40 percent in 1950. Their percent change in 2000 business and financial were more big from others. It was 40 percent in 2000. Agriculture was 5 percent and manufacturing 15 percent in 2000. That's interesting agriculture was more big in 1900 but it more less in 2000
The
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graph
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shows
information about contribute of selected sector to the economy in the twentieth century of UK

Overall
, we can be
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seen
at this
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graph
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agriculture
is more
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big
others in 1900
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but
It seems that a verb is missing after "it". Please verify.
it
Use only "less" (without 'more') when you use the comparative.
more less
in 2000

We can
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see
this
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graph
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agriculture
more
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big
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manufacturing
,
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business
and
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financial
. It was 48
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percent
in 1900. The
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more less
their among it
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business
and
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financial
.
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Manufacturing
was 45
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percent
in 1900
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but
their
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percent
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change
in 1975
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agriculture
was 10
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percent
,
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business
and
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financial
23
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percent
in 1975. The more large their among is
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manufacturing
, it was 30
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percent
in 1975

This
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graph
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shows
at us.
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Agriculture
was more large 1950. It was 50
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percent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
financial
grow
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but
more
slowly
. It was 10
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percent
in 1950.
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Manufacturing
is
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big
from
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business
and
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financial
. It was 40
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percent
in 1950. Their
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percent
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
in 2000
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
financial
were more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
big
from others. It was 40
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percent
in 2000.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Agriculture
was 5
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percent
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
manufacturing
15
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percent
in 2000. That's interesting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
agriculture
was more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
big
in 1900
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
It seems that a verb is missing after "it". Please verify.
it
Use only "less" (without 'more') when you use the comparative.
more less
in 2000

IELTS academic Contribution of selected sectors to the UK economy in the twentieth century

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
184 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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