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global vinyl sales between 1997 and 2012

global vinyl sales between 1997 and 2012 25x0M
The chart illustrates global vinyl sales over the 16-year period between 1997 and 2012 representing in million US dollars. Overall, sales of the vinyl recordings remained fairly steady from 1997 to 1999 then began to decrease. In 2007, the sales started to increased and has risen to just over the level of 1997 by 2012. Vinyl recordings peaked from 1997 to 1999 with the sales of more than $150 million and drop significantly to about $100 million in 2000. The sales gradually went down to just under $50 million in 2005 and 2006. The vinyl sales began its upward trend in 2007 and rose considerably from a little more than $100 million in 2011 to around $160 million in 2012 finishing the period slightly above the previous peak during the period of 1997 to 1999. In comparison, the lowest point of the sales is just a third of its peak and the difference between these two points is more than $100 million.
The chart illustrates global vinyl
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sales
over the 16-year period between 1997 and 2012 representing in
Use "a million" or use a number before 'million'.
million
US dollars.

Overall
,
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sales
of the vinyl recordings remained
fairly
steady from 1997 to 1999 then began to decrease. In 2007, the
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sales
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
to increased and has risen to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
over the level of 1997 by 2012. Vinyl recordings peaked from 1997 to 1999 with the
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sales
of more than $150
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million
and drop
significantly
to about $100
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million
in 2000. The
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sales
gradually
went down to
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just
under $50
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million
in 2005 and 2006.

The vinyl
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sales
began its upward trend in 2007 and rose
considerably
from a
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little
more than $100
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million
in 2011 to around $160
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million
in 2012 finishing the period
slightly
above the previous peak during the period of 1997 to 1999.

In comparison
, the lowest point of the
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sales
is
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just
a third of its peak and the difference between these two points is more than $100
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
million
.
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IELTS academic global vinyl sales between 1997 and 2012

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
162 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
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    Present relevant ideas
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    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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