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Consumption of fast food from 1970 to 1990

Consumption of fast food from 1970 to 1990 rYpBN
The given line graph represents fast food consumed in grams from 1970 to 1990. Overall, it can be seen that hamburger is the favourite food and its consumption has sharply increased between 20 years. At first, the graph shows the consumption of hamburger, fish and chips and pizza. Hamburger, fish and chips is the highly consumed food accounted for 200 and 500 grams respectively. In 1970 hamburger was consumed 50 grams which increased to 200 grams in 1990. Pizza is consumed less as compared to other things. 300 grams of Pizza was consumed during 1970 and it shows the decreasing trend. Hamburger, fish and chips shows the increasing Trend.
The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
line graph represents
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
food
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consumed
in
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grams
from 1970 to 1990.
Overall
, it can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
that hamburger is the
Possible spelling mistake. 'favourite' is British English.
favourite
food and its consumption has
sharply
increased between 20 years. At
first
, the graph
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
the consumption of hamburger, fish and chips and pizza. Hamburger, fish and chips is the
highly
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consumed
food accounted for 200 and 500
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grams
respectively
. In 1970 hamburger was
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consumed
50
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grams
which increased to 200
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grams
in 1990. Pizza is
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consumed
less
Comparison requires "than", not 'then' nor 'as'.
as
compared to other things. 300
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grams
of Pizza was
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consumed
during 1970 and it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
the decreasing trend. Hamburger, fish and chips
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
the increasing Trend.
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IELTS academic Consumption of fast food from 1970 to 1990

Academic
  American English
1 paragraphs
109 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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