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Computer honours as per each country total population

Computer honours as per each country total population ORQwy
The rendered bar graph illustrates the information about the proportion honour of laptops in 10 different nations during 1995 and 2000. Overall, it can be clearly seen that in a later period the percentum of notebook computer who onwed higher as compared to former year however, the percentage of laptop onwers in a Denmark more than other countriesAt the fleeting glance, it is vivid, that in 1995, UK, Germany and Italy proportion of notebook computer onwers accounted identical whilst, in a UK percentile of personal laptop individual was more than one in a 10 in year 2000 with regards in Germany the percentage owners of laptop was increased and UK with the difference of 2% however, in 1995, the proportion of laptop onwers just below 2% in a France. To the rest of the information in 1995, and Nertherlands were negligible in onwers of notebook computer whereas, after 5 year the percentage in a Sweden and Denmark owners of laptops 14 and 17 respectively, when it came to year 2000, the proportion of notebook computer in France and Netherlands at a par with each other, while in a later year Denmark at higher rank in the proportion of laptop onwed.
The rendered bar graph illustrates the information about the
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proportion
Possible spelling mistake. 'honour' is British English.
honour
of
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laptops
in 10
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
nations during 1995 and 2000.
Overall
, it can be
clearly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
that in a later period the
Possible spelling mistake found.
percentum
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
notebook
computer who
Possible spelling mistake found.
onwed
higher
Comparison requires "than", not 'then' nor 'as'.
as
compared to former
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year
however
, the percentage of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
laptop
Possible spelling mistake found.
onwers
in a Denmark more than other
Possible spelling mistake found.
countriesAt
the fleeting glance, it is vivid, that in 1995, UK, Germany and Italy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
proportion
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
notebook
computer
Possible spelling mistake found.
onwers
accounted identical whilst, in a UK percentile of personal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
laptop
individual was more than one in a 10 in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
2000 with regards in Germany the percentage owners of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
laptop
was increased
and UK with the difference of 2%
however
, in 1995, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
proportion
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
laptop
Possible spelling mistake found.
onwers
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
below 2% in a France. To the rest of the information in 1995, and
Possible spelling mistake found.
Nertherlands
were negligible in
Possible spelling mistake found.
onwers
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
notebook
computer whereas, after 5
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
the percentage in a Sweden and Denmark owners of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
laptops
14 and 17
respectively
, when it came to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
2000, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
proportion
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
notebook
computer in France and Netherlands at a par with each other, while in a later
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
Denmark at higher rank in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
proportion
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
laptop
Possible spelling mistake found.
onwed
.

IELTS academic Computer honours as per each country total population

Academic
  American English
1 paragraphs
200 words
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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