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Comparison of two bar graphs showing proportion of females and males scoreds in five subjects in 1960 and 2000

Comparison of two bar graphs showing proportion of females and males scoreds in five subjects in 1960 and 2000 kxK2e
The given bar charts compares the proportion of males and females with top grades in five subjects in 1960 and 2000. In 1960, boys got top scores in science and maths, which were slightly above 30 % and 30% respectively. Whereas, in languages and humanities they scored about 20%. But, in arts only 10% boys got high grades. On the contrary, girls scored good grades in languages, which is 45%. In arts and humanities the scores were 32% and 30%. Only 10% girls got top scores in science and 5% in maths. In 2000, the proportion of boys got top scores in science and maths became almost the half. Also, in arts and humanities the percentage got doubled, and in languages the scores remained the same. There was a mild to moderate decline in the proportion of girls scored high grades in arts (25%), humanities (25%) and languages (30%). Whereas, the scores in science and maths remained stable. Overall, it is interesting to note that in 2000, there is no increase in the proportion of females in any of the subjects when compared with the initial year.
The
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given
bar charts compares the
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proportion
of males and females with
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top
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grades
in five subjects in 1960 and 2000.

In 1960, boys
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got
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top
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scores
in
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science
and
Possible spelling mistake. 'maths' is British English.
maths
, which were
slightly
above 30 % and 30%
respectively
. Whereas, in
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languages
and humanities they scored about 20%.
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But
, in
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arts
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
10% boys
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got
high
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grades
.
On the contrary
, girls scored
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good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
grades
in
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languages
, which is 45%. In
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arts
and humanities the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
scores
were 32% and 30%.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Only
10% girls
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
got
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
top
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
scores
in
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science
and 5% in
Possible spelling mistake. 'maths' is British English.
maths
.

In 2000, the
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proportion
of boys
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got
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top
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scores
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
science
and
Possible spelling mistake. 'maths' is British English.
maths
became almost the half.
Also
, in
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arts
and humanities the percentage
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got
doubled, and in
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languages
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
scores
remained the same. There was a mild to moderate decline in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
proportion
of girls scored high
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
grades
in
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arts
(25%), humanities (25%) and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
languages
(30%). Whereas, the
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scores
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
science
and
Possible spelling mistake. 'maths' is British English.
maths
remained stable.

Overall
, it is interesting to note that in 2000, there is no increase in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
proportion
of females in any of the subjects when compared with the initial year.
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IELTS academic Comparison of two bar graphs showing proportion of females and males scoreds in five subjects in 1960 and 2000

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
187 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
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  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
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    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
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    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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