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comparing 2 chart and graph about participants who have entered the Olymics since it began.

comparing 2 chart and graph about participants who have entered the Olymics since it began. JqqKD
The line chart illustrates the number of participants in the Olympics given for 4 years (1924, 1952, 1984, 2012). Overall, it’s apparent that the number of participants attending the competition increased gradually. In addition, the bar chart shows in 1924 the number of men who participated the Olympics was about 3000 but the amount of women was insignificant. In contrast, it can displays the number of women rocketed substantially. For instance, in 2012 there was a little difference between male and female participation. Likewise, the number of women was exceeded more than 4000 in 2012. The line chart shows that the whole number of participation in 2012 had been increased about five times more than 1924. Also, it’s obvious in the bar chart that the number of men attending the Olympics was climbing about 1000 people per determined year. To summarise therefore, we can conclude that the number of participation soared from approximately 3000 to more than 10, 000 through 88 years. Also men were more active than the women in the Olympics until 2012.
The line
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
chart
illustrates the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of participants in the Olympics
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
for 4 years (1924, 1952, 1984, 2012).

Overall
, it’s apparent that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of participants attending the competition increased
gradually
.
In addition
, the bar
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
chart
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
in 1924 the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
men
who participated the Olympics was about 3000
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
the amount of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
was insignificant.
In contrast
, it can
The verb 'can' requires the base form of the verb: "display"
displays
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
rocketed
substantially
.
For instance
, in 2012 there was a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
little
difference between male and female participation.
Likewise
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
was exceeded
more than 4000 in 2012.

The line
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
chart
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
that the whole
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of participation in 2012 had
been increased
about five times more than 1924.
Also
, it’s obvious in the bar
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
chart
that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
men
attending the Olympics was climbing about 1000
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
per determined year.

To
Possible spelling mistake. 'summarise' is British English.
summarise
therefore
, we can conclude that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of participation soared from approximately 3000 to more than 10, 000 through 88 years.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
men
were more active than the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
in the Olympics until 2012.
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IELTS academic comparing 2 chart and graph about participants who have entered the Olymics since it began.

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
175 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
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