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compare the visitors coming to three cities

compare the visitors coming to three cities kgdW2
The line diagram compares visitors traveling to three renowned motropolises namely London, New York and Seydney, in a year. Overall, the general trend for this phenemenon changes intermittenly in the perior shown. In July, while both London and New York are the highest point, Seydney is the lowest point. After that, the figure for three cities, its position changes each. In January, the amount of visitants of Seydney is the peak, at merely under 25 units, followed by that of London and New York, which are at under 10 units. However, from Feburary to July, London and New York, guests increase shardly and hit the peak at 25 and 30 units, respectively. By contrast, visitors coming to Sydney have a dramatic decrease and touches the lowest point at 15 units. In comparison, between August and December, the number of newcomers to Sydney increase shardly to barely over 25 units from 15 units whereas that of New York and London decrease dramatically, but the falling of New York’s comers outnumber than that of London diferencing 5 units.
The line diagram compares visitors traveling to three renowned
motropolises
namely
London,
New
York and
Seydney
, in a year.

Overall
, the general trend for this
phenemenon
changes
intermittenly
in the
perior
shown. In July, while both London and
New
York are the highest point,
Seydney
is the lowest point. After that, the figure for three cities, its position
changes
each.

In January, the amount of visitants of
Seydney
is the peak, at
merely
under 25
units
, followed by that of London and
New
York, which are at under 10
units
.
However
, from
Feburary
to July, London and
New
York, guests increase
shardly
and hit the peak at 25 and 30
units
,
respectively
. By contrast, visitors coming to Sydney have a dramatic decrease and touches the lowest point at 15
units
.
In comparison
, between August and December, the number of newcomers to Sydney increase
shardly
to
barely
over 25
units
from 15
units
whereas that of
New
York and London decrease
dramatically
,
but
the falling of
New
York’s comers outnumber than that of London
diferencing
5
units
.
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IELTS academic compare the visitors coming to three cities

Academic
  American English
3 paragraphs
176 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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