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Coffee and tea buying and drinking habits in five cities in Australia

The following report is a derivative of the information given in the bar graph, where the purchasing and drinking tendency of Coffee and Tea is expressed for the people residing in the five cities in Australia. Broadly, Fresh Coffee was mostly bought by the people residing in Sydney. Similarly, instant coffee had a lot of sales in Hobart. But, Melbourne citizens highly preferred going to a cafe for tea or coffee in the last four weeks. Analyzing critically, fresh coffee was the least used in all the five cities when compared to instant coffee and cafe visitors. Sydney and Melbourne were at the top approximately around 43%, whereas Brisbane and Adelaide at the bottom, around 34%. Hobart was in the middle with 36%. Further, speaking about the Instant Coffee bought in the last four weeks, Hobart city residents percentage (54%) was higher than Brisbane by 2%. Whereas, Sydney, Melbourne, and Adelaide ranged between 46% to 50%. Lastly, the percentage of people who chose to visit a cafe in the metropolis of Sydney, Melbourne, and Hobart was approximately similar with 62%, 64%, and 63% respectively.
The following report is a derivative of the information
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
in the bar graph, where the purchasing and drinking tendency of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Coffee
and Tea
is expressed
for the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
residing in the five cities in Australia.

Broadly
, Fresh
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Coffee
was
mostly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bought
by the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
residing in Sydney.
Similarly
, instant
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
coffee
had
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
sales in Hobart.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
, Melbourne citizens
highly
preferred going to a
‘cafe’ is an imported foreign expression, which originally has a diacritic. Consider using “café”
cafe
for tea or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
coffee
in the last four weeks.

Analyzing
critically
, fresh
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
coffee
was the least
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
in all the five cities when compared to instant
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
coffee
and
‘cafe’ is an imported foreign expression, which originally has a diacritic. Consider using “café”
cafe
visitors. Sydney and Melbourne were at the top approximately around 43%, whereas Brisbane and Adelaide at the bottom, around 34%. Hobart was in the middle with 36%.

Further
, speaking about the Instant
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Coffee
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bought
in the last four weeks, Hobart city
An apostrophe may be missing.
residents
percentage (54%) was higher than Brisbane by 2%. Whereas, Sydney, Melbourne, and Adelaide ranged between 46% to 50%.
Lastly
, the percentage of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who chose to visit a
‘cafe’ is an imported foreign expression, which originally has a diacritic. Consider using “café”
cafe
in the metropolis of Sydney, Melbourne, and Hobart was approximately similar with 62%, 64%, and 63%
respectively
.

IELTS academic Coffee and tea buying and drinking habits in five cities in Australia

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
184 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
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    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
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    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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