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Children nowadays spend a great deal of time watching television however television cannot replace the book as a learning tool which is why children are less well educated today To what extent do you agree with this statement v.2

Children nowadays spend a great deal of time watching television however television cannot replace the book as a learning tool which is why children are less well educated today 2
In the contemporary world has technology-focused society and every movement, new inventions are becoming more and more while television is played a vital role in modern life. So it is said that children are less well-educated in modern society as a result of watching tv on behalf of reading books. Actually, it is entirely straightforward and I strongly agree with this assertion. To begin with, I glad to say, I have a plethora of reasons for positively this statement. Firstly, reading books is an essential thing every children life because they can get numerous information and knowledge through various books such as educated, biography and translated so on. Some expert said that reading is completed every person. In the past time, most of the offsprings spent their time with books, consequently, their IQ level was climbed rapidly. But now, students are wasted their valuable time in front of the television which is called an idiot box. For instance, Many tv channels telecast cartoons, movies and not educated programmes that mean those pragrammes are not suitable to children aged. Watching cartoons while offsprings had been created dream world their mind like cartoon animation then they try to spend their life like cartoon with various heros which is directly effected offspring' s life and their future. In addition, few tv channels telecast some education related programmes but children do not like to involve that programmes because they have motivated any other programmes such as reality programmes, music and dance competitions. Those were brought student' s mind and thoughts aside from studying while they could be reached less well-educated level easily. By this, the IQ level of children went down and their life and future all are covered dark smoke. To recapitulate, considering the above paragraphs, It would seem that using television that means spending most of the time television rather than study hours definitely children can achieve their law level intelligence.
In the contemporary world has technology-focused society and every movement, new inventions are becoming more and more while
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
television
is played
a vital role in modern
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
it
is said
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
are less well-educated in modern society
as a result
of watching
Possible spelling mistake found.
tv
on behalf of reading
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
. Actually, it is
entirely
straightforward and I
strongly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this assertion.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with,
Did you mean "I am"?
I
glad to say, I have a plethora of reasons for
positively
this statement.
Firstly
, reading
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
is an essential thing every
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
numerous information and knowledge through various
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
such as educated, biography and translated
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
on.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
expert said that reading
is completed
every person. In the past
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
, most of the
Possible spelling mistake. Did you mean "offspring", the plural form of the noun 'offspring'?
offsprings
spent their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
,
consequently
, their IQ
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
level
was climbed
rapidly
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
, students
are wasted
their valuable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
in front of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
television
which
is called
an idiot box.
For instance
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
Possible spelling mistake found.
tv
channels telecast
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cartoons
, movies and not educated
Possible spelling mistake. 'programmes' is British English.
programmes
that mean those
Possible spelling mistake found.
pragrammes
are not suitable to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
aged. Watching
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cartoons
while
Possible spelling mistake. Did you mean "offspring", the plural form of the noun 'offspring'?
offsprings
had
been created
dream world their mind like
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cartoon
animation then they try to spend their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
like
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cartoon
with various
Possible spelling mistake. Did you mean "heroes", the plural form of the noun 'hero'?
heros
which is
directly
effected
Possible spelling mistake found.
offspring&
#039; s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
and their future.

In addition
, few
Possible spelling mistake found.
tv
channels telecast
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
education related
Possible spelling mistake. 'programmes' is British English.
programmes
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
do not like to involve that
Possible spelling mistake. 'programmes' is British English.
programmes
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they have motivated any other
Possible spelling mistake. 'programmes' is British English.
programmes
such as reality
Possible spelling mistake. 'programmes' is British English.
programmes
, music and dance competitions. Those
were brought
Possible spelling mistake found.
student&
#039; s mind and thoughts aside from studying while they could
be reached
less well-educated
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
level
easily
. By this, the IQ
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
level
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
went down and their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
and future all
are covered
dark smoke.

To recapitulate, considering the above paragraphs, It would seem that using
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
television
that means spending most of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
television
rather
than study hours definitely
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
can achieve their law
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
level
intelligence.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
31Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
16Mistakes

IELTS academic Children nowadays spend a great deal of time watching television however television cannot replace the book as a learning tool which is why children are less well educated today 2

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
319 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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