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Chart shows the percentage of household food and rented accommodation summaries it

Chart shows the percentage of household food and rented accommodation summaries it m3llN
The bar chart illustrate the percentage of household food and rented accommodation in England and Wales between the year 1918 to 2011. Firstly, in year 1918 to year 1939 – rented accommodation fall down by 90%. In Year 1939 to 1953 the static remain the same. From year 1961 to 1981 their is dramatically decrease in rented accommodation by 19%. The accommodation in 1991 to 2001 Stated Almost remain constant. In year 2011 there is rapid increase in rented house hold up to 38%. Secondly, from year 1918 to 1953 the old accommodation increased from 22% to 32%. In year 1939 And 1953 the State remain almost closed. Then from year 1952 to 1919 one the old household gradually started increasing reaches up to 68 percentage. At year 1991 to 2001 the static change marginally. But, there is decline in year 2011 up to 63 percentage. In conclusion, down and printed household has raised and drop down throughout the years from 1918 to 2011. But, in year 1971 the static remains same in both the household.
The bar chart illustrate the percentage of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
household
food and rented
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
accommodation
in England and Wales between the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
1918 to 2011.

Firstly
, in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
1918 to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
1939
Consider using an m-dash if you do not want to join two words.
–
rented
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accommodation
fall down by 90%. In
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Year
1939 to 1953 the static
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
remain
the same. From
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
1961 to 1981
Did you mean "there"?
their
is
dramatically
Consider using a past participle here: "decreased".
decrease
in rented
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
accommodation
by 19%. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
accommodation
in 1991 to 2001 Stated Almost
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
remain
constant. In
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
2011 there is rapid increase in rented
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
hold up to 38%.

Secondly
, from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
1918 to 1953 the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
accommodation
increased from 22% to 32%. In
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
1939 And 1953 the State
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
remain
almost closed. Then from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
1952 to 1919 one the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
household
gradually
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
increasing reaches up to 68 percentage. At
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
1991 to 2001 the static
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
marginally
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
, there is decline in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
2011 up to 63 percentage.

In conclusion
, down and printed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
household
has raised and
This phrase is redundant. Consider using "drop".
drop down
throughout the years from 1918 to 2011.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
, in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
1971 the static
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
remains
same in both the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
household
.
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IELTS academic Chart shows the percentage of household food and rented accommodation summaries it

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
176 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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