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Chart graph of energy usage

Chart graph of energy usage ldw0Q
Given is the line graph providing us with information regarding the United State, usage of energy from 1980 predicted up to 2030. Overall, it is starkly apparent that the consumption of energy showing an upward trend, markedly in petroleum including oil. A closer look, utilizing fossil fuels as petrol witnessed an increasing movement from 35 units in 1980 to estimated more than 45 by the end of 2030. Burning coal to providing energy, whereas the natural gas experienced some fluctuation until 2015 and then reach the plateau on level 25. Renewable energies, meanwhile, progress moderately, and nuclear power is on the top due to the predictions. After that, there is the consumption of sun and wind power surge from less than 5 to more than 5 levels. Not only could not the usage of tides as hydropower be improved but also it is predicted neither growth nor a cut by 2030.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Given
is the line graph providing us with information regarding the United State, usage of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
energy
from 1980 predicted up to 2030.

Overall
, it is
starkly
apparent that the consumption of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
energy
showing an upward trend,
markedly
in petroleum including oil.

A closer look, utilizing fossil fuels as petrol witnessed an increasing movement from 35 units in 1980 to estimated more than 45 by the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
of 2030. Burning coal to providing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
energy
, whereas the natural gas experienced
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
fluctuation until 2015 and then reach the plateau on level 25.

Renewable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
energies
, meanwhile, progress
moderately
, and nuclear power is on the top due to the predictions. After that, there is the consumption of sun and wind power surge from less than 5 to more than 5 levels. Not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
could not the usage of tides as hydropower be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improved
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
it
is predicted
neither growth nor a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
cut
by 2030.
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IELTS academic Chart graph of energy usage

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
151 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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