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Chart below shows the proportion of holidaymakers using three different types of accommodation in three years

Chart below shows the proportion of holidaymakers using three different types of accommodation in three years R9PQ
The given Pie Charts illustrate the percentage of holidaymakers who used various types of accommodations such as hotels, camping and stay with family and friends between 1988 and 2008. Over all, it can be clear from the chart that proportion of staying with family and friends decreased in following decades. While percentage of holiday makers who preferred camping and hotels were increased every 10 years. According to the chart in 1988 over a half holiday makers who stayed with the family and friends while this ratio fell down in 1998 at nearly half in same accommodation. In 2008 debt ratio decreased and reached 38%. By contrast in 1988 26% of Travellers preferred hotel. That ratio increased 29% in 1998 and 48% in 2008 respectively. Similarly MP solid the same trend like hotels. Proportion of camping escalated in 1998 at 12% and reached 14% in 2008.
The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
Pie Charts illustrate the percentage of holidaymakers who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
various types of accommodations such as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hotels
, camping and stay with family and friends between 1988 and 2008.

Over all, it can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
from the chart that proportion of staying with family and friends decreased in following decades. While percentage of holiday makers who preferred camping and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hotels
were increased
every 10 years.

According to the chart in 1988 over a half holiday makers who stayed with the family and friends while this ratio fell down in 1998 at
nearly
half in same accommodation. In 2008 debt ratio decreased and reached 38%. By contrast in 1988 26% of
Possible spelling mistake found.
Travellers
preferred
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hotel
. That ratio increased 29% in 1998 and 48% in 2008
respectively
.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Similarly
MP solid the same trend
Comparison is written 'the same ... "as"'.
like
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hotels
. Proportion of camping escalated in 1998 at 12% and reached 14% in 2008.
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IELTS academic Chart below shows the proportion of holidaymakers using three different types of accommodation in three years

Academic
  American English
3 paragraphs
145 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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