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Changing Rates of Crime in Panama City, 2010-2019

Changing Rates of Crime in Panama City, 2010-2019 WgpPN
The line graph depicts the shifts in crime rates, specifically burglary, car theft, and robbery, that happened in Panama City during the period of 2010 - 2019. Overall, the graph shows significant changes in burglary and car theft incidents for a decade. While robbery had low incidents with 500 incidents on average throughout the year. At the beginning of 2010, there were almost 3500 burglary incidents which later increased and reached its peak to almost 4000 reported cases by 2011 before decreased rapidly to around 1000 cases by 2015. Since hit its lowest rate in 2015, burglary had been in a low incident rate with an average of 1500 cases to 2019. On the contrary, car theft started with over 2500 incidents in 2010. Car theft decreased sharply to around 2000 cases in 2013 and take over as the highest rate of crime in Panama City in the middle of 2013 to 2014 and had increased in number and rised steadily to 2019.
The line graph depicts the shifts in crime
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rates
,
specifically
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burglary
,
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car
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theft
, and robbery, that happened in Panama City during the period of
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2010 - 2019
.
Overall
, the graph
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shows
significant
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
in
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burglary
and
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car
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theft
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incidents
for a decade.
“While” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
While
robbery had low
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incidents
with 500
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incidents
on average throughout the year.

At the beginning of 2010, there were almost 3500
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burglary
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incidents
which later increased and reached its peak to almost 4000 reported cases by 2011
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before
decreased
rapidly
to around 1000 cases by 2015. Since hit its lowest
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rate
in 2015,
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burglary
had been in a low
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incident
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rate
with an average of 1500 cases to 2019.

On the contrary
,
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car
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theft
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started
with over 2500
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incidents
in 2010.
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Car
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theft
decreased
sharply
to around 2000 cases in 2013 and take over as the highest
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rate
of crime in Panama City in the middle of 2013 to 2014 and had increased in number and
Possible spelling mistake. Did you mean "rose", the past tense form of the verb 'rise'?
rised
steadily
to 2019.
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IELTS academic Changing Rates of Crime in Panama City, 2010-2019

Academic
  American English
3 paragraphs
163 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
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    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
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    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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