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carbon emissions by different countries

carbon emissions by different countries wxrV3
This graph shows the average carbon dioxide emission per person in Sweden, United Kingdom, Italy and Portugal between 1967 and 2007 how the levels of carbon omision changed over the years. To began with the line graph show that United Kingdom and Sweden were the highest contributors in carbon emission in 1967 with 11 and 9 metric tons respectively. Sweden reached its peak in 1977 with emission of 11 metric tons afterwards it declined constantly and in 2007 it was 9 and 5 metric tons emission for United Kingdom and Sweden respectivly. The other two countries depicted on the graph are Italy and Portugal with carbon omision of 1 and 5 metric tons which is much less than the other two countries initially but it grew at an increasing rate and readched a high in 1977 with 7 and 5 metric tons for italy and portugal respectively and afterwards became constant
This graph
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shows
the average
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carbon
dioxide
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emission
per person in Sweden, United Kingdom, Italy and Portugal between 1967 and 2007 how the levels of
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carbon
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omision
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changed
over the years.

To began with the line graph
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show
that United Kingdom and Sweden were the highest contributors in
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carbon
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emission
in 1967 with 11 and 9 metric tons
respectively
. Sweden reached its peak in 1977 with
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emission
of 11 metric tons afterwards it declined
constantly
and in 2007 it was 9 and 5 metric
Apostrophe might be missing. Did you mean "tons'" or "ton's"?
tons
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emission
A determiner is probably missing here: "for the United Kingdom".
for United Kingdom
and Sweden
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respectivly
.

The other two countries depicted on the graph are Italy and Portugal with
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carbon
Possible spelling mistake found.
omision
of 1 and 5 metric tons which is much less than the other two countries
initially
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but
it grew at an increasing rate and
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readched
a high in 1977 with 7 and 5 metric tons for
Possible spelling mistake found.
italy
and
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portugal
respectively
and afterwards became constant

IELTS academic carbon emissions by different countries

Academic
  American English
3 paragraphs
150 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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