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Capital punishment mostly live in developed countries

Capital punishment mostly live in developed countries N3VdN
Capital punishment is always associated with ignorance and intolerance. In fact, we must acknowledge that some people disagree with this kind of penalty, but others vote in its favor. Portugal was the first European country to end this kind of penalty. Since the 19th century, tolerance and respect for life are important values. Moreover, we can affirm that all the Europe remains under the same codes. Maybe because of a religious view point, the respect for life is a typical value in the Old Catholic world. Those who are in favor of capital punishment mostly live in developing countries. However, this is not just an image of the Third World countries. Actually, the USA is one country where this kind of punishment has its higher rates of application. The state of Texas, in particular, is at the top, supporting this measure against crime, especially those involving serial killers and crimes against children. In a society dominated by fear and government control, it is foreseen that this penalty will continue into a future next.
Capital punishment is always associated with ignorance and intolerance. In fact, we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
acknowledge that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
disagree with this kind of penalty,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
others vote in its favor. Portugal was the
first
European
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
this kind of penalty. Since the 19th century, tolerance and respect for life are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
values.
Moreover
, we can affirm that all the Europe remains under the same codes. Maybe
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of a religious view point, the respect for life is a typical value in the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Old
Catholic world.

Those who are in favor of capital punishment
mostly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in developing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
.
However
, this is not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
an image of the Third World
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
. Actually, the USA is one
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
where this kind of punishment has its higher rates of application. The state of Texas,
in particular
, is at the top, supporting this measure against crime,
especially
those involving serial killers and crimes against children. In a society dominated by fear and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
control, it is foreseen that this penalty will continue into a future
next
.

IELTS academic Capital punishment mostly live in developed countries

Academic
  American English
2 paragraphs
173 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
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  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
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    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
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    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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