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building industry bricks production process

building industry bricks production process j5NkX
The diagram explains the way in which bricks are produced for the building industry. Overall, the process consists of seven stages begining with digging of clay soil and ending up with delivery of bricks to the building industry. First of all, clay soil is dug by an escavator, after that it's put in between a roller and metal grid, then sand and water are added. Next, a wire cutter or mould are used to shape them in equal sizes and shapes, then put in a drying oven for 24 _48hours. Following this, the bricks are put in kiln where they are heated to a temperature in range of 200°c_980°c, then to temperature in range of 870°c _1300°c. After that, the products are put in cooling chambers for 48_72hours. Finally, packaging and delivery of bricks to the building industries is done.
The diagram
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explains
the way in which
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
bricks
are produced
for the building industry.

Overall
, the process consists of seven stages
Possible spelling mistake found.
begining
with digging of clay soil and ending up with delivery of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
bricks
to the building industry.

This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, clay soil
is dug
by an
Possible spelling mistake found.
escavator
, after that it's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
put
in between a roller and metal grid, then sand and water are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
added
.
Next
, a wire cutter or
Possible spelling mistake. 'mould' is British English.
mould
are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to shape them in equal sizes and shapes, then
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
put
in a drying oven for 24 _48hours.

Following this, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
bricks
are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
put
in kiln where they
are heated
to a temperature in range of 200°c_980°c, then to temperature in range of 870°c _1300°c. After that, the products are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
put
in cooling chambers for 48_72hours.
Finally
, packaging and delivery of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
bricks
to the building industries
is done
.
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IELTS academic building industry bricks production process

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
140 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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