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bar graph gives information of revenue generated by real estate in three different countries

bar graph gives information of revenue generated by real estate in three different countries ndmXE
The given bar graph revils the information about income generated by an real estate agencies located in 3 different countries Italy, France and United Kingdom between the time spane of 5 years from 2010 to 2014. The given data are calibrated in billion US dollars. Overall, it can be seen that France and United Kingdom remains high and on the other hand Italy remains lowest among all 5 year. Firstly United Kingdom has acchived the highest amount of revenue generation in the year 2014 which was 17. 6 billion US dollars. And the lowest was achived by Italy which was in the year 2010. It was around 7. 4 billion dollars. In first two years France was leading at the top by 13. 2 and 14. 4 billion US dollars respectly in the year 2010 and 2011. Secondly by the year 2012 the lead which was hold by France was now taken over by United Kingdom which continues till the ending year which was 2014. Italy was always at the lowest in all five years which remains between 7. 4 to 9. 9 billion US dollars.
The
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given
bar graph
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revils
the information about income generated by
Use "a" instead of 'an' if the following word doesn't start with a vowel sound, e.g. 'a sentence', 'a university'
an
real estate agencies located in 3
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different
countries Italy, France and
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United
Kingdom between the
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time spane
of 5 years from 2010 to 2014. The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
data
are calibrated
in
Use "a billion" or use a number before 'billion'.
billion
US dollars.

Overall
, it can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
that France and
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United
Kingdom remains high and
on the other hand
Italy remains lowest among all 5 year.

Firstly
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United
Kingdom has
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acchived
the highest amount of revenue generation in the
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year
2014 which was 17. 6
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billion
US
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dollars
. And the lowest was
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achived
by Italy which was in the
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year
2010. It was around 7. 4
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billion
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
dollars
. In
first
two years France was leading at the top by 13. 2 and 14. 4
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billion
US
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
dollars
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respectly
in the
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year
2010 and 2011.

Secondly
by the
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year
2012 the lead which was hold by France was
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now
taken over by
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United
Kingdom which continues till the ending
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
which was 2014. Italy was always at the lowest in all five years which remains between 7. 4 to 9. 9
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
billion
US
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
dollars
.
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IELTS academic bar graph gives information of revenue generated by real estate in three different countries

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
186 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
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Lexical Resource: 5.0
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Grammatical Range: 6.5
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  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
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    Present relevant ideas
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