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Bar graph for percentage of smokers of the population from 1950-1990

Bar graph for percentage of smokers of the population from 1950-1990 Xn52P
The bar graph illustrates the percentage of the population that smokes and the change in this percentage through the years 1950 to 1990. This has been demonstrated separately for both men and women. When considering the women within the population who smoke, the graph points to the lowest rate to be in the year 1950. There occurs a gradual, followed by a steep increase that may be estimated to around 43% of the population in 1980 being women smokers. However, it is seen that there was a decrease by about 10% in the final year of the graph. On the other hand, the percentage of men smokers was highest in the year 1950 standing at 80% of the population. Over the years, a slow decrease is witnessed in this rate till the year 1980, after which there was a sudden and sharp decrease in the percentage going from 70% to around 46% of the total number of people. Overall, there has been an increase in the percentage of the female smoker population during the 40 year period and a decrease in the same for the male population. The proportion of male smokers always remained higher than that of the female smokers.
The bar graph illustrates the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percentage
of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
population
that smokes and the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
in this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percentage
through the years 1950 to 1990. This has
been demonstrated
separately
for both
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
men
and women.

When considering the women within the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
population
who smoke, the graph points to the lowest rate to be in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
1950. There occurs a gradual, followed by a steep increase that may
be estimated
to around 43% of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
population
in 1980 being women smokers.
However
, it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
that there was a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
decrease
by about 10% in the final
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
of the graph.

On the other hand
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percentage
of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
men
smokers was highest in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
1950 standing at 80% of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
population
. Over the years, a slow
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
decrease
is witnessed
in this rate till the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
1980, after which there was a sudden and sharp
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
decrease
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percentage
going from 70% to around 46% of the total number of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.

Overall
, there has been an increase in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percentage
of the female smoker
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
population
during the 40
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
period and a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
decrease
in the same for the male
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
population
. The proportion of male smokers always remained higher than that of the female smokers.
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IELTS academic Bar graph for percentage of smokers of the population from 1950-1990

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
201 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
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    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
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    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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