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bar graph compares the data of revenue earned from tourism.

bar graph compares the data of revenue earned from tourism. yRdMP
The bar graph compares the profit earned(in US billion dollars) by four different countries from travel industry in the year of 2010 and 2015. Overall, the income earned from tourism in the year 2015 is more than that earned in 2010 for all the countries except for Malaysia and among all four countries Australia earned the highest profit from tourism. It is evident from the graph that revenue from tourism in Australia increased by 1 billion dollars and reached to 29 billion dollars. in 2015. Contrarily, the revenue decreased by 1 billlion dollars which accounted to 17 billion dollars in 2015. New Zealand's and Singapore's earnings from the tourism sector rose by 3 billion dollars and 2 billion dollars and they hit profit of 9 billion dollars and 16 billion dollars respectively.
The bar graph compares the profit earned(in US
Use "a billion" or use a number before 'billion'.
billion
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dollars)
by four
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different
countries from travel industry in the year of 2010 and 2015.
Overall
, the income earned from tourism in the year 2015 is more than that earned in 2010 for all the countries
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
except for
Malaysia and among all four countries Australia earned the highest profit from tourism.

It is evident from the graph that revenue from tourism in Australia increased by 1
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billion
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dollars
and reached to 29
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billion
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
dollars
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
in
2015.
Contrarily
, the revenue decreased by 1
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billlion
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dollars
which accounted to 17
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billion
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dollars
in 2015. New Zealand's and Singapore's earnings from the tourism sector rose by 3
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billion
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dollars
and 2
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billion
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
dollars and
they hit profit of 9
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billion
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dollars
and 16
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billion
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
dollars
respectively
.
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IELTS academic bar graph compares the data of revenue earned from tourism.

Academic
  American English
2 paragraphs
132 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
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  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
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    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
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    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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