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Bar chart shows about employment male and famale in European countries

Bar chart shows about employment male and famale in European countries VwkDm
The given bar chart reveals data about employment rates between male and famale in European countries (Canada, South Korea and Sweden). for years in 2005 and 2015. Units are measured in percent Overall, it is clear that from these chart, the peecentage of male employments in each countries both of years, likewise the percentage of women employment was less nearly all countries yer it consisted higher than other countries in Canada for fameale employment There were significant changes in 2005. The percentage of male employments was higher than the percent of female employments and it was nearly equall South Korea and Sweden (over 70%and over 75%respectively )but it was reached a peak in Sweden in 2005. Yet the percentages of female employment was the least (30%)in South Korea in 2005. Also it consisted in 2015 like these in South Korea (about31%)However in 2015 the percentage of women employment grew slightly than 2005 and it was reached a peak in Canada in 2015, likewise the percentages of men employment was higher in 2015 than 2005 in SK
The
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given
bar chart reveals data about
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employment
rates between male and
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famale
in European
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countries
(Canada, South Korea and Sweden).
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
for
years in 2005 and 2015. Units
are measured
in percent
Overall
, it is
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clear
that from these chart, the
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peecentage
of male
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employments
in each
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countries
both of years,
likewise
the
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percentage
of women
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employment
was less
nearly
all
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countries
yer it consisted higher than other
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countries
in Canada for
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fameale
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employment
There were significant
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changes
in 2005. The
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percentage
of male
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employments
was higher than the percent of female
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employments
and it was
nearly
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equall
South Korea and Sweden (over 70%and over 75%
respectively
Don't put a space before the closing parenthesis
)
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but
it
was reached
a peak in Sweden in 2005.
Yet
the
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percentages
of female
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employment
was the least (30%)in South Korea in 2005.
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Also
it consisted in 2015 like these in South Korea (about31%)
However
in 2015 the
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percentage
of women
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employment
grew
Use "(slightly)" to make a comparison with this adjective.
slightly
than 2005 and it
was reached
a peak in Canada in 2015,
likewise
the
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percentages
of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
men
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employment
was higher in 2015 than 2005 in
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
SK
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IELTS academic Bar chart shows about employment male and famale in European countries

Academic
  American English
1 paragraphs
175 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
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  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
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    Present relevant ideas
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    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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