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Bar chart showing the percentage of physical activity

Bar chart showing the percentage of physical activity p1r7m
The bar chart illustrates the percentage of Australian male and female in six age groups who were involved in regular physical workout in 2010. Overall, men were more involved in regular physical exercise than women when they were in teenager group. Beside these, almost all other age divisions, women were more concerned about health compare to men. In the case of males, when they were teenage state, percentage of involvement in physical activity was maximum, 52. 8%. With the increase of age the involvement in a physical workout reduced to 42. 2% and 39. 5% respectively. After that, with increasing the age, men started to engage more in exercise. In an instance, for the age group 45 to 54, the percentage was 43. 1%. For 55 to 64 and 65 above age groups, the percentage were 45. 1% and 46. 7% respectively. Women who were in mid age division, did regular physical activity and the rate for the group 35 to 44, 45 to 54 and 55 to 65 were 52. 5%, 53. 3% and 53% respectively. On the contrary, when women become older, the engagement in physical exercise reduced and reached at 47. 1%.
The bar chart illustrates the
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percentage
of Australian male and female in six
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age
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
groups
who
were involved
in regular
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physical
workout in 2010.

Overall
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
men
were more involved in regular
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
physical
exercise than women when they were in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenager
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
group
. Beside these, almost all other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
divisions, women were more concerned about health compare to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
men
.

In the case of males, when they were teenage state,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percentage
of involvement in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
physical
activity was maximum, 52. 8%. With the increase of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
the involvement in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
physical
workout
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduced
to 42. 2% and 39. 5%
respectively
. After that, with increasing the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
men
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
to engage more in exercise. In an instance, for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
group
45 to 54, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percentage
was 43. 1%. For 55 to 64 and 65 above
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
groups
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percentage
were 45. 1% and 46. 7%
respectively
.

Women who were in mid
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
division, did regular
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
physical
activity and the rate for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
group
35 to 44, 45 to 54 and 55 to 65 were 52. 5%, 53. 3% and 53%
respectively
.
On the contrary
, when women become older, the engagement in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
physical
exercise
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduced
and reached at 47. 1%.
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IELTS academic Bar chart showing the percentage of physical activity

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
195 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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