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bar chart on population and global wealth

bar chart on population and global wealth 7JyW2
The bar graph illustrates the percent of world population and global wealth in eight regions. According to the bar chart the population’s percentage is higher than the global wealth, except for North America, Europe and Rich Asia-Pacific. It is clearly evident that the regions of North America, Europe and Rich Asia- Pacific present a higher wealth percentage in comparison with their population. Which is not the case for other regions where the difference between both aspects is more than 2 times. That trend isn’t applicable to Latin America and the Caribbean where the values are close. Rich Asia-Pacific has the lowest population percentage but there the wealth is positioned in top three regions. China has the largest population and their wealth conditions are in the lower average. Africa is in the global wealth’s bottom even tought their population is not.
The bar graph illustrates the percent of world
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
population
and global
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
wealth
in eight
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regions
. According to the bar chart the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
population’s
percentage is higher than the global
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
wealth
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
except for
North America, Europe and Rich Asia-Pacific.

It is
clearly
evident that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
regions
of North America, Europe and Rich Asia- Pacific present a higher
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
wealth
percentage
in comparison
with their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
population
. Which is not the case for other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
regions
where the difference between both aspects is more than 2 times. That trend isn’t applicable to Latin America and the Caribbean where the values are close. Rich Asia-Pacific has the lowest
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
population
percentage
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
there the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
wealth
is positioned
in top three
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
regions
. China has the largest
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
population
and their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
wealth
conditions are in the lower average. Africa is in the global
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
wealth’s
bottom
Possible spelling mistake found.
even tought
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
population
is not.
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IELTS academic bar chart on population and global wealth

Academic
  American English
2 paragraphs
140 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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