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BAR CHART OF COMMUTING TO FROM SCHOOLS

BAR CHART OF COMMUTING TO FROM SCHOOLS QV6M1
The bar chart demonstrated the date on how children aged 5-12 of a country were driven to or from school suing various transport modes from 1990 to 2010 Overall, walking was the most preferred mode of commute in 1990 as against the traveling by cars being the top in 2010. In 1990, about 12 million children traveled to and from by walk as opposed to the fewest who made it by car (4 million) meanwhile, commuting by bus was the second best interested mode which accounted for nearly 7 million, while both by cycling and the combination of by walk and by bus comprised an equality which was recorded as 6 million. However, most strikingly, after 20-year period passed, children had lost their physical exercises which was confirmed by the decline trend by walking dipped to two fold from 4 million and cycling to 3 fold from 6 million. Interestingly, the trend of car users had been soared at roughly 12 million which was three times high in comparison to 1990
The bar chart demonstrated the date on how children aged 5-12 of a country
were driven
to or from school suing various transport modes from 1990 to 2010

Overall
, walking was the most preferred mode of commute in 1990 as against the traveling by cars being the top in 2010.

In 1990, about 12
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
million
children traveled to and from by walk as opposed to the fewest who made it by car (4
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
million)
meanwhile, commuting by bus was the second best interested mode which accounted for
nearly
7
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
million
, while both by cycling and the combination of by walk and by bus comprised an equality which
was recorded
as 6 million.

However
, most
strikingly
, after 20-year period passed, children had lost their physical exercises which
was confirmed
by the decline trend by walking dipped to
The adjective or adverb 'twofold' needs to be written as one word.
two fold
from 4
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
million
and cycling to 3
Possible agreement error. The noun 'fold' seems to be countable, so consider using: "folds".
fold
from 6
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
million
.
Interestingly
, the trend of car users had
been soared
at roughly 12
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
million
which was three times high
in comparison
to 1990
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IELTS academic BAR CHART OF COMMUTING TO FROM SCHOOLS

Academic
  American English
3 paragraphs
170 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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