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average percentage of sodium, saturated fats and added sugars in typical meals consumed in the USA

average percentage of sodium, saturated fats and added sugars in typical meals consumed in the USA 3KXN
The pie charts demonstrate the proportion of sodium, saturated fats, and added sugar consumed by a typical American family; overeating may threaten health. The largest amount of sodium is consumed in dinner, nearly two-thirds of daily consumption(43%). Just below a third of sodium appear in the lunch. The remaining two meals share an identical percentage, both of them occupying 14%. Like sodium, the family ate the main part of saturated fat in dinner (37%), which was immediately followed by lunch, exceeding household ate a quarter of saturated in mid-day, and 16%, 21% saturated fat, respectively. Snacks comprise the largest part of added sugar(42%). The sum of the consumption of artificial sugar in breakfast and lunch contributes to approximately of daily consumption. People ate 13%of refined sugar in the dinner. Overall, most added sugar comes from snacks, while the highest sodium and salt levels come from dinner.
The pie charts demonstrate the proportion of sodium,
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saturated
fats, and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
added
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sugar
consumed by a typical American family; overeating may threaten health.

The largest amount of sodium
is consumed
in dinner,
nearly
two-thirds of daily consumption(43%).
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Just
below a third of sodium appear in the lunch. The remaining two meals share an identical percentage, both of them occupying 14%.

Like sodium, the family ate the main part of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
saturated
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fat
in dinner (37%), which was immediately followed by lunch, exceeding household ate a quarter of
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saturated
in mid-day, and 16%, 21%
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saturated
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fat
,
respectively
.

Snacks comprise the largest part of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
added
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sugar(42%)
. The sum of the consumption of artificial
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sugar
in breakfast and lunch contributes to approximately of daily consumption.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
People
ate 13%of refined
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sugar
in the dinner.

Overall
, most
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added
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sugar
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
from snacks, while the highest sodium and salt levels
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
from dinner.
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IELTS academic average percentage of sodium, saturated fats and added sugars in typical meals consumed in the USA

Academic
  American English
5 paragraphs
146 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
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Lexical Resource: 5.5
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Grammatical Range: 6.5
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Task Achievement: 7.0
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    Present relevant ideas
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