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Average monthly rainfall in one Asian city , 1950-2000

Average monthly rainfall in one Asian city, 1950-2000 LbN9r
The quantity of the rainfall per month in a particular Asian city from 1950 to 2000 is depicted in the given bar graph. A glance at the graphs reveals that, the average rainfall from Jan to May followed the upward trend, meanwhile there was a fluctuation during the last months of the period shown. The lowest rainfall of the years fell in Jan with just 5 mm before it started to rise sharply to 112 mm in May. The next striking feature of this graph is the raindrops which had the highest peak in September for about 188 mm, it witnessed a tedious decline in Jun at 81 mm. Despite a jump to the leading spot in Sep the trend had reserved starting from Oct and reached 58 mm in Nov as well as it dipped conversely to 17 mm in the end of the period.
The quantity of the rainfall per month in a particular Asian city from 1950 to 2000
is depicted
in the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
bar graph. A glance at the graphs reveals that, the average rainfall from Jan to May followed the upward trend, meanwhile there was a fluctuation during the last months of the period shown.

The lowest rainfall of the years fell in Jan with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
5 mm
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
to rise
sharply
to 112 mm in May. The
next
striking feature of this graph is the raindrops which had the highest peak in September for about 188 mm, it witnessed a tedious decline in Jun at 81 mm. Despite a jump to the leading spot in Sep the trend had reserved starting from Oct and reached 58 mm in Nov
as well
as it dipped
conversely
to 17 mm in the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
of the period.

IELTS academic Average monthly rainfall in one Asian city, 1950-2000

Academic
  American English
2 paragraphs
146 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
4.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.5
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  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
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Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
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    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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