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Australian house hold energy use

Australian house hold energy use 6Nr63
The data is given in the form of pie-chart, which illustrates a mean of a consumption used by Australian household and it's impact on the green house gas emission. Overall, five main components used in household; Heating, Cooling, Lighting, Refrigeration and water heating. Other appliances which is been noted through randomly. To began with the most energy consumption are heating and water heating, they use the total of 42% and 30% of energy through which total emission rate on these two are 15% and 32% respectively. On the other hand, Less energy consumption rates is on refrigeration and lighting with total energy consume is 7% and 4%. but it's impact on emission is double which is 14% and 8%. Strikingly, least consumption of the total energy is on cooling 2% which emits 3% on total green house gas emission. Other appliances, energy consumption rate is 15% and it's emission rate is 28%.
The data is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
in the form of pie-chart, which illustrates a mean of a
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consumption
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used
by Australian household and it's impact on the green
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house
gas emission.

Overall
, five main components
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used
in household;
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Heating
, Cooling, Lighting, Refrigeration and water
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heating
. Other appliances which
is been
noted through
randomly
.

To began with the most
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energy
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consumption
are
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heating
and water
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heating
, they
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use
the
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total
of 42% and 30% of
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energy
through which
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total
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
emission
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rate
on these two are 15% and 32%
respectively
.
On the other hand
, Less
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energy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
consumption
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rates
is on refrigeration and lighting with
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total
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
energy
consume is 7% and 4%.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
but
it's impact on
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emission
is double which is 14% and 8%.

Strikingly
,
A determiner is probably missing here: "the least".
least
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consumption
of the
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total
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
energy
is on cooling 2% which emits 3% on
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total
green
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
gas
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
emission
. Other appliances,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
energy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
consumption
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rate
is 15% and it's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
emission
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rate
is 28%.

IELTS academic Australian house hold energy use

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
152 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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