Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

Analysing essay that should parents use strict control on their children?

Analysing essay that should parents use strict control on their children? PRLdp
Recently, the issue of how rigorous control on children and let them lack ability to deal with complicated world has been introduced widely in the community. Due to this controversial problem, on 21st March 2021, Jane Brown published her opinion piece 'The skills to cope with life are learned in childhood' in The Herald Sun. On the next day, 22nd March 2021, Jack Lee's letter to the editor was untitled, which was also published in The Herald Sun. Otherwise, Jane's piece is collaborated by an illusion of 'Big Babies' drawn by… Both text target mainly on concerned parents and children in Australia. Furthermore, although Jane and Jack' are opposite options, they attempt to convince readers of similar contentions: the decision on children's educational methods can significantly influence on their future. Jane Brown opens by arguing that parents act over-protecting to children can decrease their ability to endure painful challenges in daily life. By using rhetorical question, Jane let readers regard that parent should put an end of overprotective behavior on children and let them experience challenges to learn how to deal with obstacles in life. To support her argument, Jane claims with cause and effect 'they cannot possibly learn…childhood or adolescence'. This is intended to invite readers to share her concerns and see the context as one that needs correcting. The factual issue reinforces this that teenagers who are being overprotected will lack experience to endure life's obstacles. The use of emotive language 'pain of failure' and 'disappointment' or 'stresses', Jane intends to the level of hostile states that a child should receive in the duration of maturity, which can cause the consequences that help them gain knowledge and experience to face with sudden problems in life. The illusion of an older adult's shape in the form of a baby mind and clothes, trapped in a walking harness and leash in front of a small world. His crawling position and 'dull' expression suggest that parents nowadays create mature people in baby minds. Blame is directed to parents when they are caused to cut children's wings because of overprotective behavior during childhood.
Recently, the issue of how rigorous control on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
let
them lack ability to deal with complicated world has
been introduced
widely
in the community. Due to this controversial problem, on 21st March 2021, Jane Brown published her opinion piece 'The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
to cope with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
are learned
in childhood' in The Herald Sun. On the
next
day, 22nd March 2021, Jack Lee's letter to the editor
was untitled
, which was
also
published in The Herald Sun.
Otherwise
, Jane's piece
is collaborated
by an illusion of '
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Big
Babies' drawn by… Both text target
mainly
on concerned
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
in Australia.
Furthermore
, although Jane and Jack' are opposite options, they attempt to convince readers of similar contentions: the decision on children's educational methods can
significantly
influence on their future.

Jane Brown opens by arguing that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
act over-protecting to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
can decrease their ability to endure painful challenges in daily
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
. By using rhetorical question, Jane
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
let
readers regard that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parent
should put an
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
of overprotective behavior on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
let
them experience challenges
Did you mean "learning"? Or maybe you should add a pronoun? In active voice, 'challenge' + 'to' takes an object, usually a pronoun.
to learn
how to deal with obstacles in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
. To support her argument, Jane claims with cause and effect 'they cannot
possibly
learn…childhood or adolescence'. This
is intended
to invite readers to share her concerns and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
the context as one that needs correcting. The factual issue reinforces this that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
who are
being overprotected
will lack experience to endure life's obstacles. The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of emotive language 'pain of failure' and 'disappointment' or '
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stresses
', Jane intends to the level of hostile states that a child should receive in the duration of maturity, which can cause the consequences that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them gain knowledge and experience to face with sudden problems in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
.
Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
The
illusion of an older adult's shape in the form of a baby mind and clothes, trapped in a walking harness and leash in front of a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
world. His crawling position and 'dull' expression suggest that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
nowadays create mature
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
in baby minds. Blame
is directed
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
when they
are caused
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
cut
children's wings
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of overprotective behavior during childhood.
What do you think?
  • This is funny writingFunny
  • I love this writingLove
  • This writing has blown my mindWow
  • It made me angryAngry
  • It made me sadSad

IELTS academic Analysing essay that should parents use strict control on their children?

Academic
  American English
2 paragraphs
351 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Recent posts