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amount of steel which was demonded and produced in 4 different months in the USA.

amount of steel which was demonded and produced in 4 different months in the USA. lqrrJ
The line graph illustrates amount of steel which was demonded and produced in 4 different months in the USA. Overall As it can be seen Although demond for steel was lover than produced in the beginning but demond was highter in the find month. In terms of Actual demend, it was lower than Actual produced in January which is 2000 million tonnes. Sooner this number increased gradually from 2000 to 3000 Amount of demend flactuated moderately from 3000 to about 2500 between April and August. Afterwords in decreased till december and showed a significant a compared to produced steel (2000). Regarding to amount produced it was lower than amount demend in January which is 4000 million tonnes. Sooner this number increased considerably from 4000 to 5000 amount of produced remained steady rapidly from 4000 to about 4010 between April and August. Afterwords in increased till August and showed a sharp fall at the and as a result demand was lower as compared to produced steel (900).
The line graph illustrates
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amount
of
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steel
which was
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demonded
and
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produced
in 4
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
months in the USA.

Overall
As it can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
Although
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demond
for
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steel
was lover than
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produced
in the beginning
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
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demond
was
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highter
in the find month.

In terms of Actual
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demend
, it was lower than Actual
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produced
in January which is 2000 million tonnes. Sooner this number increased
gradually
from 2000 to 3000
Possible agreement error. The noun 'Amount' seems to be countable, so consider using: "amounts".
Amount
of
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demend
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flactuated
moderately
from 3000 to about 2500 between April and August. Afterwords in decreased till
Possible spelling mistake found.
december
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
showed
a significant a compared to
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produced
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
steel
(2000).

The phrase 'Regarding to' is not correct. Use "Regarding" or "regard to".
Regarding to
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amount
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
produced
it was lower than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
amount
Possible spelling mistake found.
demend
in January which is 4000 million tonnes. Sooner this number increased
considerably
from 4000 to 5000
Possible agreement error. The noun 'amount' seems to be countable, so consider using: "amounts".
amount
of
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produced
remained steady
rapidly
from 4000 to about 4010 between April and August. Afterwords in increased till August and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
showed
a sharp fall at the
Did you mean "end"?
and
as a result
demand was lower
Comparison requires "than", not 'then' nor 'as'.
as
compared to
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produced
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
steel
(900).
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IELTS academic amount of steel which was demonded and produced in 4 different months in the USA.

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
166 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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